As a dating and relationship coach for women over 40, every day I see and hear women’s stories about the breakups they didn’t see coming. Or the date they thought went so well, and he never called again.

There are countless stories about failed marriages and relationships, emotional and physical abuse, men who we thought were amazing who turned out to be cheaters and liars.

All these dating and relationship heartbreaks, failures and mistakes can make anyone lose hope that love is out there.

And then…there are the stories of finding love for the first time at 40, 50, 60, and beyond. At the surprise of that first date you almost didn’t go on, with the man you felt kind of ‘meh’ about who turned out to be the love of your life. How a man showed so much kindness and care, your faith in love was restored.

These stories restore hope!

Or do they? What about the self-doubt that begins to creep in? The belief that love only happens for others and not you?

Here’s the truth…Love is not something that just happens to the lucky ones. It’s a skill. It’s an action we practice everywhere in our lives. It’s about taking emotional risks, getting out of your comfort zone on a regular basis. Speaking up. Showing up. Standing up for what matters to you. Knowing when to stay and when to go. Having dignity and self-worth, as you continue to meet men who might be your last first date.

I’m posting this photo of my orchid today as a symbol of that hope.

My daughter gave me the orchid for mother’s day last year. After several months, the flower began to die. The petals fell off one by one. And all that was left was a stick in the dirt and some green leaves.

A few weeks ago, that orchid began to grow buds. Slowly, the buds opened. And now, there are beautiful flowers again.

Hope. Renewal. It’s there for all of us. Please don’t give up. But don’t be passive either.

That orchid bloomed again, because I watered it. I put it in the sunlight. I nurtured it. And deep down, I knew it would come to life again.

Learn the skills that create healthy love. They’re available to all of you. Love is your birthright!