I do not make New Year’s resolutions.  I am not very resolute.  However, I do set goals.  My current goal is to socialize.  For the past threeish years, I have been wholly immersed in and occupied by family and professional obligations.  Pursuing work/life balance was just another harshly judgmental and undone item on my to do list. I stopped seeing or even emailing with dear friends.  I stopped attending parties, school fundraisers, community meetings, and other events I used to enjoy greatly.

I am an extreme extrovert.  I will walk up to a stranger and engage her in conversation. I have zero social anxiety. I think small talk is fun. I am the only woman I know who loved being a bridesmaid over and over again for about a decade. Don’t even get me started on baby shower themes. Swoon.

What miserable, lonely, three years they were – those years when I stopped socializing.  At first, I rationalized I simply did not have the time or energy to get together with friends.  After about a year of not engaging, my excuse changed.  Nobody would want to hear from me and listen to me complain about my challenges.  Everybody is dealing with their own stuff.  Plenty of people have it much worse. After two years, I figured this was my life.  I would be terrible company.  I couldn’t inflict myself on other people.  And I still did not have the time or energy to see friends, make small talk with new people or  be social in any significant way.

I woke from this self-inflicted nightmare about two months ago.  I made a goal for 2020.  I was going to socialize.  One of the top five best decisions I have ever made.  I now snort laugh at hilarious texts from my dearest friends.  I have been lunching like a lady who lunches for a living.  I took a solo vacation to visit my oldest friend for a long weekend.  She made me laugh so hard, I literally doubled over in the lobby of a movie theatre. People stopped and asked me if I needed medical help.  I made another friend pee her pants when I tried out some new jokes on her.

Last night, I attended a Botox party even though I did not want Botox.  I reconnected with three friends who were also at the party.  I spent half an hour in a serious discussion with a woman I only knew from her Facebook posts.  People told me I had very pretty skin “for my age”.  I slurped up every single one of those superficial and ageist compliments.

My calendar is filling up with dates for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  At this rate, I may only need a trip to the grocery store every other week.  Though I do enjoy a good grocery store outing . . .

I have been feeling so good that I wanted to share my goal. I wrote a blurb about how I was heck bent on socializing more and posted it in a local FB group for moms. I asked the other moms to let me know if they wanted to be on an invite list for impromptu meetups.

The response from the other moms has been heartwarming and validating.  So many of them started their messages to me with, “I really need to socialize, too.”  They related to much of my journey.  They miss doing things with their friends.

Take it from me and many of the women in my FB group, don’t stop socializing.  Don’t let the pressure of adulting isolate you.  Get yourself out of the office and house.  You don’t even need to shower.  Dry shampoo was specifically designed for these situations.