I’m so grateful to have taken part in a 7-day silent meditation retreat. It just made me want to put love out into the world.

To be with yourself consciously in silence for the better part of a week is to voyage slowly deep within. You swing from boredom and anxiety to exaltation to sluggishness to sweet peace—and back. If you’re not ready to confront your inner demons and examine your deeply seated thoughts, don’t do it. If you’re ready to find true love, do. It’s an Odyssean journey, and I barely went a millimeter.

On this retreat, we were all given chores to do. One of mine was to sweep the decks around the building. At 6:40 every morning, I’d throw on my sneakers and grab a broom. Between the first day of the retreat and the last, the sky at 6:40 went from being dark to a little light. What a delight to witness one of Mother Nature’s minute changes in real time.

The building had little Buddha statues in different rooms. Before meditating in the meditation hall or lining up for the dining hall, people would bow to one of the statues. My religion, Judaism, teaches that we not bow down to idols. What to do? I don’t believe Buddhists see the statues as having any kind of special power; I think they look to them for orientation. To remind themselves that if this guy 2600 years ago could do it, I can, too. I tried to “translate” this mindset for myself so that the others would feel respected. I couldn’t. So, I didn’t bow to the statues.

But the participants also bowed to one another. I think it’s meant as a sign of acknowledgement, and perhaps respect. I really struggled with this, as I will bow only to the formless. The best I could come up with was to lower my head just slightly and smile. I hope the others took my intention as it was meant, and I hope God did, too. Those guys had their sanctity; I had mine. Interfaith reconciliation isn’t always easy.

Every morning, we were offered a healthy, full breakfast. What a difference to your day! Oatmeal, stewed prunes with apple and orange chunks and cinnamon sticks, granola, sunflower seeds, almonds, raisins, yogurt, soy or almond milk, fresh fruit, sprouted wheat bread and Ryvita and Ak-mak crackers, peanut butter, tahini, and jam! I was reminded how nourishing our body can nourish us mentally and spiritually.

Only a few days into the retreat did I realize: They’re not serving dessert! I hadn’t even noticed, since the food was so fresh, tasty, and satisfying. I consider myself an aspiring vegetarian who falls off the wagon all the time. It was amazing to see how many varieties of vegetarian dishes you can come up with for a whole week.

You develop a kind of loopy humor from concentrating so hard for so long. I started to fantasize about how, at the end of the retreat when we officially broke the silence, I wanted to turn to a girl and ask, “So… was it good for you?”

More seriously, the retreat was offered for free. The organization’s hope was that you’d give a donation at the end according to your means. But they never checked one way or the other.

Isn’t this amazing?! I have no idea if they’re in the black or the red. What I know is they’ve got a modern (if simple) building, each person gets a private room, and the grounds, while small, are beautiful, with walking paths through the start of a redwood forest and along thoughtfully landscaped flora. All the work is done by volunteers; they don’t have a single employee. And the retreat center seems to be going strong after 10 years.

I’m blown away by this! It felt really good knowing that anyone, rich or poor, could come on the retreat (the catch being that there’s always a lottery and a waitlist, since they’re so popular). The leaders’ humbleness made me want to give even more at the end than I otherwise might have.

Lastly, in all my inner exploration over that week, I was reminded that one of my “issues” is feeling like I’m not being heard. That time of offering myself true compassion gave me the courage to tell friends (at least on Facebook) that in the coming days or weeks, if I asked them to reflect back to me in their own words what they heard my say, I promised it wasn’t because I thought they were hard of hearing or weren’t fluent in English. It was just my work to do to get unstuck.

One of the greatest gifts of my week spent (mostly) in silence was the reminder that if we clear a space in our life and devote the time, we can find love within ourselves—and it is that that allows us to turn around and offer it to others.