I learned of Yoga with Adriene’s 30 day Yoga Program: Home, on social media. January’s calendar shared in an online friend’s stories stirred intrigue.

I was in yet another downturn of depression. Chronic pain was a very real experience. Sleep wasn’t. My heart was frantic and my body uncentered.

Ungrounded.

Flighty.

Unsure.

So I figured why not. What further damage could this Home themed yoga practice really inflict. I was already in the depths of darkness.

I timidly began the practice in frantic shakiness.

Sitting still has always been difficult.

My brain travels a mile a minute in different directions.

Like lightning.

Or a supernova.

All burning lights on a black night sky.

Regardless, I arrived on my mat every day. I intended to practice yoga in the morning, in the dark, before waking my kids. On the days my bed held me hostage, I committed to yoga in the evenings. On Day 11 during the practice titled Dig, I felt metaphorical green buds sprout under my feet and I knew my grounding had begun.

My life’s journey can be described in Layers of Healing. 

I imagine Trauma and Painful Experiences as layers that surround our Inner Self.

Obstacles to Clarity about Who We Really Are. 

The Heart of Us.

The mat really is a mirror.

Several times I bawled through practice. On more than one occasion I took myself to Child’s Pose and sobbed through flow while Adriene gently guided us to meet her in downward dog.

my Heart was Clearing.

my Layers Peeling.

my Body Centering.

the Green Buds under my Feet Rooting.

Grounding. 

Finally.

I’ve been wondering for months if Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder was something I had. I now know it is and can credit yoga and Adriene for guiding me to Acceptance.

for reaching this level of Clarity.

for reminding me I have everything I need.

for teaching me how to Balance while I connect segments of struggle with being united with ADHD.

The Knowing of ADHD has lessened shame and disappointment I have felt in myself while also increasing my self- acceptance. The Knowing has been a blessing. The Knowing has led me towards the right direction for increased Well-Being.

Coming Home has been quite the journey.

Increased Grounding and Clarity continued as the month went on. I looked forward to Adriene’s gentle encouragement, grace, wisdom and humor. I truly consider her a friend. From her I have learned to be gentle with myself, to have fun (a little Wu-tang), to find what feels good, to make traditional yogi tea, to let my breath guide me, to accept the squeaky floor, to root in all 4 corners of my feet.

Adriene,
Thank You.

I’ll be meeting you on my mat through February. I’m curious to see what knowing Kiss will bring.

Love and Light,
(and a whispered Namaste)

Elizabeth