Being “woke,” or experiencing an “awakening” are some of the latest buzz words in the holistic Instagram community.

You’ve probably seen the “good vibes only” quote thrown around more times than you can count. This is a disservice to what is actually happening during a spiritual reawakening—rediscovering something that’s always been there within us, but that we have just been taught to ignore.

It wasn’t that long ago, after all, when being intuitive or embracing alternative medicines would get you a quick date with public humiliation or even death. That kind of stuff stays with us in our bones.

My spiritual awakening of sorts started in 2013 when I went to a group medium reading. It was something that I approached with a cautious skepticism, not totally believing it was real, but at the same time curious about the possibility.

During my 2013 group reading, my grandma came through. The medium shared details about my grandma that no one could possibly know. She brought up the word earrings, which seems innocent enough, but immediately triggered a significant memory between the two of us. I was between the ages of five and seven, and had bought my grandma the most epic, dangly 90s earrings with the request she wear them to my wedding one day. While that never happened, knowing she was there in spirit made my heart sing. I was hooked.

Between 2013 and 2017 I dabbled in intuitive development courses, mediumship classes, and reading more books on the subjects.

Looking back, when I was a child, I remember always having been easily overwhelmed with emotion. In my young age, I had zero words to explain my meltdowns, which to my parents probably seemed ridiculous and uncalled for.

Unbeknownst to me, what I was really struggling with was the intense energy imprint of the places we were visiting. They were not dangerous or scary, but there was a lot to process when feeling all of it at once.

Still, despite my studies in my adult years, I continued to feel in over my head. I could never ever do this type of work, I often thought. It was just a hobby—something that I did here and there. Not to mention the fact I would keep this information pretty close to the vest. What if someone thinks I’m a witch? All the while, I was struggling with major anxiety and fear, and their physical symptoms. I was certain they couldn’t possibly be related.

In 2018 I had the opportunity to travel to Ireland with my good friend (the medium I spoke about earlier) and another amazing woman. We participated in a spiritual retreat in an old haunted castle, and explored Dublin and Galway.

It was magic—the turning point for me. The moment I realized that, hey! I actually am intuitive! I do have a powerful connection to spirit. My soul finally got the chance to shine. In a way, it was a homecoming.

This may sound like a lovely story, but as I began to embrace this side of myself, I found my anxiety and physical symptoms increasing instead of diminishing.

Why can’t I just be normal? So-and-so makes it look so easy. I’m never going to get rid of anxiety. This self-defeating attitude added to feelings of restlessness and overall discomfort.

What I have now come to know is that my struggles were all a part of a spiritual reawakening.

Anytime we start to embrace a new way of being, our ego starts screaming and tries to grab onto anything that will keep us “safe.” This usually isn’t helpful. It certainly doesn’t make for a very comfortable experience.

Instead of folding and letting my anxiety run the show, I started focusing on the inner part of myself—the shadow—the part of ourselves we keep locked away. It’s messy and untamed. Oftentimes, it shows up as resentment, jealousy, shame, guilt, and judgement.

Now, these emotions on their own aren’t good or bad. I wholly believe our emotions tell us a story. What can be harmful is how our actions or thoughts are impacted by these particular emotions. For me, they manifested in not-so-healthy ways; lots of negative self-talk, unjustified anger directed at loved ones, anxiety, major digestive issues, and so much fear. I was discouraged.

After spending time “doing the work” to try and fix myself, I still felt like I was taking five steps backward. The anxiety was still there; I couldn’t shake the fear.

I made it my goal for the latter half of 2018 to cure my anxiety. While that was my original goal, I learned so much more throughout the process. What I discovered were some amazing healing modalities that tapped into my subconscious mind. Discovering these healing modalities helped me break down the stories that I had collected since childhood.

The past year has been full of constant growth, shifts, births, deaths, and transformations. Both in the metaphysical sense, but also in the physical sense.

Below are the top 10 tips that I wish I had known when my soul reawakening happened:

1. It’s uncomfortable but you don’t have to fear it.
Call in your guides for support. Talk to your family if you are able.

2. You will be exhausted.
Especially if you are a sensitive person. I found salt baths and quiet really necessary.

3. There’s such a thing as a spiritual flu.
There were many times I felt unwell with no obvious illness (obviously, check with a doctor if you are concerned.)

4. It will be filled with ups and downs.
Often, healing and reawakening feel like you are moving backward.

5. Self-care will be hugely important.
Take time to listen to what your body needs.

6. Indulge in meditation and stillness.
Both help keep you present and in the moment.

7. Practice inner reflection.
Journaling was such a necessary tool for me.

8. Find a community or a mentor who has already started their spiritual journey.
They will be able to provide you with support and guidance when you feel lost.

9. Keep learning.
Find what you align with. Trust the process, and embrace the growth. I’m so grateful for all that I learned the last couple years. It was beyond uncomfortable and there were a lot of tears. What did begin to lessen was the fear and anxiety. I shifted many old stories and patterns that were keeping me stuck in a hamster wheel.

10. Remember to breathe and trust that this is all worth it.
Expansion requires you to let go of something. Trust that as you shed all the heavy fears you will be able to invite in a more aligned way of being.

As we are spiritual beings having a human experience, healing is something that is ongoing and forever evolving. Once we realize that healing isn’t linear, it will be a slightly less frustrating experience, though still exhausting. Hopefully these tips will help.