If you’re suffering from anxiety, brokenness, doubt, unknowing,  traumas that has happened to you, issues that you’re having to deal with in your life right presently – sometimes what happens is you try hard to convince  yourself that things are going well or you start to project the brokenness and the darkness of the world to momentarily feel relief from the suffering.

Most successful authors, musicians and artists are the ones who are talking about how to get rid of the anxiety, darkness and brokenness as they are the ones who have been frantically trying to get rid of their own anxiety, brokenness and doubt and through that frantic fleeing of themselves have found themselves having an audience. It is not an uncommon thing that you end up doing the type of job that you need for yourself – a common example is a lot of people go into counseling because they actually should have counseling themselves.

We become the very thing that we are running away from.  You see it with people who are narcissistic in how they show up in this world – all you have to do is scratch a little bit beneath the surface and you will find self-loathing, self-hatred and self-doubt but it’s hidden in its opposite.

What on the surface looks like certainty is actually disguised as uncertainty – not disguised from the world but disguised from themselves – a form of self-deception.

It is very important that if you are in a role helping people and talking about worldly issues to have had years – if not decades of reading, reflection and personal work in order to have that stage.

Unfortunately I see more and more people occupy the stage because they are charismatic and they think they have something to say.

Positive messages are fun but there should be a warning to them as they may become addictive. Why?  If you  have someone on the stage who says that they have the answer, whatever the answer is be it fame, money, strengths then I in the audience – if I am struggling with anxiety or doubt and don’t feel that my life is working – when I hear this person on stage I will instantly think “they have their life together and have all the answers – this person – I want what they’ve got.”  They inflame those feelings in you but you never get the answer – you just keep going back and doing everything that they said until one day you realize it doesn’t work.

The answer is always just out of reach but now you are addicted to it. We keep trying to pursue and trying to get the answer.

The answer is not going from one answer to another but having the ability to make peace and reckon with your own doubts, anxieties and traumas. Turn them into something good and beautiful or if not beautiful turn them into your fuel that fuels further movement in your life.

Grace is not that you have to move from A to B; grace says that you don’t have to move anywhere – just be. When you experience grace in your life you’re able to sit still – you’re able to just simply let everything speak. You’re not trying to deny,  run away from, move forward from anything – you simply be. Grace is how to undergo fundamental transformation.

The truth is that I am lost with you. I have traumas – trauma is part of the very being of human beings – it is part of the very structure of reality itself and know that I can talk about that but I have experienced that in my life and continue to.