I heard you today in the public washroom. Standing there, looking in the mirror with your friend. You both wore the latest fashions, you took pictures of yourselves with the newest smartphone. You both looked at your reflection and at the photos you had taken, and your words broke my heart. You spoke about your bodies and all of their flaws. You didn’t talk about how beautiful your hair was, you thought it should be longer and more blonde. You didn’t talk about how beautiful your smile was, you thought that your teeth were too crooked. You grabbed the excess skin on your stomach and said that you were fat and needed to go on a diet. You and your friend laughed, and your laughter sounded joyful, beautiful. You sounded truly happy. It made me smile. Then I heard you and your friend explain why you were laughing and it broke my heart even more. You were laughing at how much taller you were than her, how half your forehead was cut out of the photo. As the washroom fell silent, I exited the bathroom stall. You and your friend finished fixing your eye makeup and lip gloss in the mirror and left. My heart was heavy. And I wanted to follow you, I wanted to talk to you, to hug you, to tell you how much my heart was hearting for you. Because Girl, I know that although you were laughing in that moment, you feel like you are not good enough. But Girl, you were born to stand out, to shine. Girl, you are beautiful, you are unlike any other. You are you, and that is enough.

And as I sit here typing, I recount all of the things that you said in those moments. I want you to know that you have been lied to. You have been made to feel like you are not enough. My heart hurts because you weren’t born that way. When you were younger you probably sang out loud, danced like nobody was watching, and said what was on your mind. You were once unapologetically you. But you fell into a trap like many of us do. You read the magazines, you watched the TV shows, the movies, you saw the social media posts.

You were sold the lie, the illusion that perfect is normal. Girl, it’s not.

Perfection isn’t even human. People come in all shapes and size and we all have flaws. And you know what else? We are all worthy of love. We are all worthy of being loved by ourselves, and being loved by others. You are so young, you are still figuring out who you are, let alone figuring out the world around you. Having it all together and being confident doesn’t mean that you need to be perfect. In this season of life, you need to understand that you are learning and becoming. Who you are right now is not who you will be for the rest of your life. You will become something bigger, you will learn more, do more. You are, and always will be amazing.

Always be authentic, always be yourself. I don’t care if the world tells you your hair and makeup needs to be perfect. I don’t care if other people think that having the latest fashion trends makes you cool. You do You. Follow your heart and trust your gut. If your gut tells you that a situation isn’t right for you, don’t do it. And if your gut tells you to speak up and share what’s on your mind, do it. Don’t worry about what other people think. You are braver and stronger than you know. Let the passion inside of you be ignited, do what brings you joy. Because years from now, I want you to know that your life will be very different. One day you will wake up and be an adult, reflecting on all that you have grown through, all that you accomplished. And girl, I don’t want you to look back and regret anything, or wish you had said or done the things that you didn’t.

Girl, I want you to know that you, like everyone else walking this earth will at times feel like they are not good enough. I want you to know that each and every day when you turn on the TV, when you open the social media apps on your phone, when you see your peers, even when you see strangers around you that you don’t even know; you will be convinced. Convinced through comparison that your body, your life, your choices are not good enough. You will be once again taunted with the illusion that life should be perfect, that there are no bad days, that a life without flaws is what you should desire.

But that is crap.

Life is difficult.

Failure, bad days, flaws are inevitable. Your life is not defined by a bad day. Your life is defined by the choice you make, whether you get back up and keep going. You are not defined by your body, life is not about looks. You’ve been told time and time again that it’s what on the inside that counts, believe that with all your heart. Because years from now, you will look in the mirror and the same person will not be looking back at you. You can choose to avoid mean people, people that hurt others, people that hurt you. But, you can’t avoid yourself. Be humble, be kind, be passionate, be who you want to be.

I wish that I could rewind, go back to that moment in the washroom. Tell you and your friend that you are both beautiful. That your laughter made me smile. I wish I could go back and tell you all of these things. You’d probably raise your eye brows and roll your eyes, wonder why I was sharing this with you.

I stood in the mirror thirteen years ago and felt the same way you do.

At twelve years old I looked in the mirror and felt flawed in every way. I was shy and awkward. I was too tall, too fat. My teeth were too crooked, my hair too frizzy. I tried my best but always felt like I was never enough. There were moments when I smiled and made happy memories too. But even in those moments, I never had a true smile (you know, the kind of smile that stretches from ear to ear and makes your cheeks hurt.) I never even opened my mouth in the slightest because I was afraid that someone would notice my crooked front teeth. I didn’t want people to see my smile, I didn’t want people to notice how tall I was, I didn’t even want people to see me at all. I became a wallflower. Shy, quiet, and always on the side lines.

Years have passed, and I have become a stronger version of myself both physically and mentally. I have traded in my wallflower ways and become a wildflower, having grown in ways that people would have never thought I would. The winds of adversity still blow my way from time to time, but now I rise above the storm. I stand confident in who I am and what I believe. In my wallflower days, when the winds of adversity blew my way, I found myself standing alone; insecure and unsure. I only wish that those same winds whispered some words advice, a promise, or shared with me the things that I know now.

Girl, as you feel the winds of adversity blow your way, as you look in the mirror feeling less than, as you continue to become who you are, let my words be that whisper in the winds. Let these words be your reminder, that you ARE good enough. Be proud of who you are and who you are becoming.

Girl, you are you. And that is enough.