I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say this again ‘You will never understand what it feels like unless you’ve walked in my shoes‘.

Because this is what it feels like.  

Because when you hear the words,  you don’t believe them.

Because when you hear the words,  the ground beneath your feet shifts in an instant.

Because when you hear the words, you have irrational thoughts that sometimes lead to irrational actions.

Because when you hear the words, you get angry.

Because when you hear the words, you have to look for trustworthy sources.

Because when you hear the words, you have to change your behavior.

Because when you hear the words, you realize that you do not have any control over this.

Because when you hear the words, they create fear.  Way down deep.  In the deepest and darkest parts of your mind and soul.  Fear so controlling, so deep, so scary and so completely overwhelming that you get stuck. 

And when I got there, he sat me down and asked me ‘How do you eat an elephant*?’.

His answer, ‘You Eat an Elephant*, One Bite at a Time’.    And that is how we are going to do this’.  

He called me every day for months and asked me, ‘What is your bite today?’.

The elephant* was big and overwhelming.  My fear was getting in the way.  It took me a long time to learn not to go off and try to conquer the whole elephant*.  As I learned to take it one bite at a time, my perspective changed.  Towards everything.

Try it.