It’s a rite of teenage passage for most of us, Generation X and beyond: watching the John Hughes film, “The Breakfast Club.” It brilliantly captures the angst, the struggles and the uncomfortable truth of the teenage years, via our characters, labeled as “The Brain,” “The Athlete,” “The Basket Case,” “The Princess” and “The Criminal.”

It’s these last two types, especially, that have most recently caught my attention.

Not long ago, I re-watched the movie, many years post my adolescence. Whether it’s generic hindsight or my sensitivity to abuse, I found myself noting some disturbing relationship dynamics between “The Princess” and “The Criminal.” Maybe you’ll concur.

How It Starts…

We’re introduced to our teens, summoned to a Saturday detention for various reasons. Within minutes of the movie’s start, “The Princess,” named Claire, appears to be upper middle class, being dropped off at the school in her father’s BMW, wearing expensive clothes.

In stark contrast, our introduction to “The Criminal” (named John Bender), has him walking to the school, every bit the loner, dressed in sunglasses, flannel, denim and a long trench coat. He emits tough guy and “antisocial.”

As the students gather, there are hostile sparks flying between our Princess and our Criminal. He makes suggestive comments. At one point, Bender encourages the other male, “The Athlete,” Andrew, “Let’s get the Prom Queen impregnated.”

Yeah. Sexual harassment at its teenage finest, everyone.

After some antagonizing back and forth, Claire advises the gang to just ignore Bender. To which he responds, “Sweets, you couldn’t ignore me if you tried.”

I immediately remembered the sage advice given to many of us out there as children, “If a boy or girl likes you, they pick on you.” (Hence the hair pulling, hitting, spit balls and other assorted bullying many of us endured).

Being Protective?

Anyway, it appears there’s nothing but annoyance and animosity going on between Claire and Bender. However, as the day unfolds, with angry exchanges between the high school principal, Richard Vernon, and “The Criminal,” communication involving insults from both parties, we, as the audience, start seeing some early protective attempts, on behalf of John.

Because of their heated conversation, Bender gets two more months of detention ordered by Vernon. Their argument is intense, so much so, as this school principal ratchets up the detention Saturdays for Bender, Claire pleads to him, shouting, “Cut it OUT!” She then silently mouths, “Stop!”

Not long after, when Claire complains about the relational dynamics between her parents, along with the threat of potential divorce, Bender asks, “Who do you like better?… If you had to choose between them…”

“The Athlete,” Andrew, confronts John about his uncomfortable line of questioning and interacting with Claire. Eventually, as the Saturday detention session goes on, each of the teens engage in more personal discussion, revealing some vulnerable truths, especially about their family structures.

And, it is here where we see Bender’s abusive reality. He roleplays a disturbing parental exchange, describing what a night in his household is like. This includes name calling, with expletives, verbal abuse, culminating with an unsettling father-son confrontation…

“No, Dad, what about you?”
“F*** you!”
“No, Dad, what about you?”
“F*** you!”

Bender ends this role play, finally escalating with a simulated punch to the face. There is a stunned, silent reaction from the teenagers at this revelation.

And, it is here where we see the first real vulnerable cracks of our “bad boy.” You can see the hurt, the pain, the dysfunction of his life. Many of us, especially us codependents, are often drawn in, wanting to rescue such an individual.

Cruel Perception…

Yes, we, the audience, cannot help but feel compassion for John. Principal Vernon further kicks a dog when he is down. In, perhaps, an attempt to “make an example” of “The Criminal,” this educator proceeds to dismiss his humanity and core value…

“Look at him. He’s a bum. You want to see something funny? You go see John Bender in five years…”

Again, there appears to be an emphasis on writing off this “lowlife” teen. He’s not worth it. There’s nothing more to him than one-dimensional trouble.

On Relationships…

However, like Claire, we are, somehow, intrigued by him. We still don’t give up on him. We want the movie happy ending, I suppose. For, despite the sexual innuendo, the name calling, the insults and the tough demeanor, Bender compels us, doesn’t he? He makes us want to root for him. He makes us want to understand him, take care of him and even love him, doesn’t he?

There’s one point within the storyline, in which Claire and Bender are hanging out together, looking through each other’s stuff. We see Claire flipping through the photos of girls John keeps in his wallet. Bender, likewise, is spraying her perfume, one of the many cosmetic items she carries in her purse. At one point, it looks like he’s using Claire’s eyebrow comb to brush his teeth, as he stares into her compact.

A bit cringeworthy, I must say.

Anyway, the two of them discuss relationships. Claire asks about the many photos, offering the challenge of the “one guy, one girl” dynamic for him to consider. It looks like things may be getting a little too personal and uncomfortable for Bender, so much so, looking at all of the scattered purse contents, he blurts out, “How come you have so much s*** in your purse?”

Claire responds…

“I don’t know. I guess I can never throw anything away.”

And Bender, referencing the many wallet photos, answers back…

“Neither do I.”

Yikes.

The “bad boy,” once again, reminds us of how relationships are not often viewed and treated by him in the healthiest of manners. He has trouble with a committed relationship. He needs to have a girl in every port.

Yes, we may be intrigued by the “danger,” the excitement, even the “two different worlds colliding” element of it all.

Still, should we accept that as the baseline for how we are treated within a serious love relationship? I think not.

Confrontation…

As the detention Saturday continues for our cast of characters, we are not done with the harsh remarks, bandied back and forth, between “The Princess” and “The Criminal.”

Indeed, as each of the detention teens are sitting in a circle in the school library, they cover a range of uncomfortable topics: sexuality, image, achievement, painful parental relationships, perfectionism.
Inevitably, each one of them, are confronted with status and class.

Yes, we’re all aware of the adolescent hierarchy that exists within a high school structure. There are various “tiers” of value and importance. Claire and Andrew, perhaps, represent that top tier, “the popular kids.” Brian, “The Brain,” perceived as nerdlike, settles somewhere in the middle, as his academic achievement has him possessing a certain role and function as a student. Allison, “The Basket Case,” is probably set lower within the hierarchy, as she is the misunderstood loner, dressed in all black, possessing erratic behavior. And, lastly, of course, we have John Bender, our “Criminal.” Within the context of high school hierarchy, he is at the very bottom.

So, as these teens hash out issues, once again, there is clashing between Claire and Bender. Here is where they spew intensely pointed remarks at one another…

“God, you’re so pathetic… I like those earrings, Claire… I bet those were a Christmas present, weren’t they…go home and cry to your daddy. Don’t cry here…”

Bender continues his insults, telling her to stick to things she knows about, like shopping, nail polish, and “your father’s BMW and your poor drunk mother in the Caribbean.”

Claire, clearly at the point of breaking, sobs, “I hate you so much right now!”

Bender snarls, “Yeah? Good!”

It’s brutal to watch. In the middle of the truth telling, in the middle of adolescent angst, we are still faced with cruelty, which seems to have no age limit. Out of the mouths of babes?

It’s unsettling.

The Basis of a Solid Relationship?

As the film winds down, we witness a conversation between “The Princess” and “The Criminal.” Claire sneaks into the supply closet, Bender’s solitary isolation spot. With a stroke of boldness, Claire leans in, to give John a kiss on the neck.

“Why’d you do that?”

Claire responds, “Because I knew you wouldn’t.”

Eh, maybe not the best communication dynamic going on here, but hey, they’re just getting to know each other, right? Maybe there’s hope, we, the audience reason.

Eventually, John asks a certain question…

“You know how you said before how your parents use each other to get back at each other? Wouldn’t I be OUTSTANDING in that capacity?”

Eh, red flag alert? At first, we may be lulled into an “Awwh, isn’t that sweet?” response.

But let’s just pause for a second here and look a little closer at what that question means.

“Wouldn’t I be OUTSTANDING in that capacity?”

Remember, we’ve spent the last one hour and thirty-seven minutes getting to know these characters. We have witnessed, within that time, a series of inappropriate, hurtful and dysfunctional interactions between Claire and Bender.

And now, suddenly, everything is hunky dory?

What about the more serious issues, experienced by both characters? What about abuse? What about drug use? What about sexual views? What about radical family differences? What about healthy self-esteem? Where is that found in either character? What needs to be worked on and healed?

And will the two of them do just that?

Or, will abuse and dysfunction cycles continue to exist as we see how the two of them are, indeed, “Outstanding in that capacity,” fully hurting each other?

Will Bender, sooner or later, give Claire a black eye or a busted lip?

Will she stay in the relationship if he does?

And, let’s not forget, their brains haven’t even fully formed yet.

No, none of that is going to be neatly resolved in this relationship, without some bumps in the road.

But, yes, we, the audience, want the happy love story ending, right? We don’t want to think about how that love story may not be so happy, healthy or possible.

Wrapping It Up?

Okay, so we know how the story ends. (Spoiler alert, in case you haven’t seen the movie).

“The Athlete” and “The Basket Case” become a couple. “The Brain” feels some pride and self-esteem, while being appointed the group paper writer. And yes, of course, “The Criminal and “The Princess” couple up.

We’re left with Claire and Bender kissing goodbye before Claire gets into her father’s BMW. Before she does, she places one of her diamond earrings into John’s fingerless gloves, closing that hand with hers on top. They kiss.

As she leaves, Bender fastens that earring in his ear, walking home, through the football field, with a bit of a spring in his step. We believe he’s found the love and validation, so much so, the film ends with his triumphant fist raised in the air. The movie freezes on that image. The song, “Don’t You Forget About Me,” by Simple Minds, plays.

Ta-dah! All is well. Even though, Bender’s going home to an abusive family setting. But he found teenage love and is wearing a diamond earring of the rich girl he’s spent the past hour and a half disdaining and insulting.

Sounds great to me.

Sigh: some of it’s the hopeless romantic in me. Some of the sigh is uneasiness.

The Takeaway:

Have I ruined the nostalgic memories of your teenage youth? It’s just a movie from the 1980s. It’s fiction; the characters aren’t real. Yes, that’s all true, but the mixed, confused messages, perhaps, are all too real. “Good Girl” and “Bad Guy” archetypes are hard to kill.

What is the agenda driving them?

It’s a precarious thing, especially for those of us who’ve endured any form of abuse. What are we to do with a storyline in which the lovebirds berate, insult and humiliate each other, to only fall in love with each other, without healing any of those boiling issues?

Let’s get real about these fictional characters: “The Princess” and “The Criminal” will probably not seek couples’ counseling. They probably won’t “beat the odds.”

They will hurt each other.

Perhaps, “The Breakfast Club” is more cautionary tale than teen flick. Perhaps is a wakeup call for each one of us, in “a couple” or not, to get healthy and challenge our own identity and personal issues.

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
Socrates

To paraphrase the film’s famous song, “don’t you forget about that.”

Copyright © 2020 by Sheryle Cruse