Using space is a new endeavor for me, allowing myself to enjoy moving slower to enjoy having gaps in my day or my week.

In our society, we value filling our days, filling our calendars, filling our lives with things and activities. I found that the more goals I added, the better I felt until my goals and lists ate me alive. I’m taking this year to use space to achieve what I want and create the life I want instead.

So far, it’s everything I wanted, and it’s unfolding in the most beautiful and unexpected ways.

I embarked on a journey this year to find space and use it differently. I was craving space, but I didn’t want to fill it with more coaching work or more responsibilities in my 9-5 job. I wanted to experience it, feel it, enjoy it.

And as I started to experience it, something shifted. I began to realize that the teachings I had read about being in alignment and allowing things to unfold is found here in open space. Creating without force is found in this space.

I had never made enough space for myself to experience the creation of what I wanted. It usually came from force, and rarely did it come how I wanted it to but from exhaustion and pressure. My typical day was filled with to-do lists and errands and running from one activity to the next to get everything done. And what I was left with was a checked-off list and a new one for the next day, no fulfillment really—list after list, a hamster wheel of to-do.

Don’t get me wrong, I still use lists, but I don’t let them own me.

I create the list and save the space.
Having to work from home, I’ve found the motivation so strong to flow through the lists instead of push.

So I sit, I do the work. And a couple of hours in I get up and I enjoy a walk, or a dance or a little yoga flow. Then I sit down and recenter. And I see where I can go next.

Often the work that I flow to needs to be done, but it doesn’t unfold in the order my logical brain would have it.

Even now, I sat down to work on other things for my business, and I find myself here, writing to you because this feels better. You need to hear this.

So how do you use space to create what you want?

First and foremost, you’re going to need to slow down.
I know you don’t want to hear it, hell, I don’t want to hear it most days.

But slowing down is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.
Trust me; you won’t die; you aren’t a shark. You can stop swimming for a moment.

Start practicing slowing down one step at a time. Start with daily meditation or sitting practice. Set a timer for 5 minutes and just sit. You don’t have to meditate if that seems too hard right now, just sit and observe.

Then start creating more “slow time.” Take Sunday’s for instance, stop using your phone on Sunday’s and see what changes for you. Then stop using your laptop, then the TV…stop trying to accomplish anything on Sundays. Reinstate the Sabbath and allow a day to rest. As you start to create bits of space in your day and your weeks, you’ll start noticing where else space fits more naturally then the forced “accomplishment” that may currently be there.

Secondly, start to observe if you own your process or if your process owns you. I’m willing to bet its the latter. Then ask – how can I take back the power of my process?

For me — I stopped making daily to-do lists and instead now aim for a monthly and a weekly to-do list. I don’t beat myself up if I don’t get everything done in one week, either. I allow things to flow.

I also ask myself each morning, “What feels good to work on?” instead of sitting down, saying, “Ugh, I HAVE to get this done today.” Yes, there are deadlines sometimes, but if you’re a Type A personality, I’m willing to bet you’re typically on top of them. Deadlines can easily flow into this work; don’t look for excuses right now.

So ask, “What feels good to work on right now?” You’ll get an answer – follow it.

The more you do this, the more you’ll naturally see an organization for your days and your weeks. You’ll start to see when you’re most productive, and you’ll typically set things aside for those times. Then you’ll naturally find more space because you’ll be using your days differently, more effectively. And you’ll have more space to enjoy space.

Thirdly, Take time each day to dream about what you want to be doing. Envision what you want your days to look like or what work you ideally want to be doing.

Each morning, I sit down and write a professional gratitude list, then I write out what I’m excited about for the next month. Most of the time, its dreams, the dreams are where things start. I write out the dreams as if they’re happening; this gets me in a beautifully motivated state to enjoy the work that lies in front of me. And that 5 minutes of space to enjoy my life powers me up like a cup of coffee. So allow yourself to dream about your life again. How do you want the next month to unfold? What would excite you? Write it out.

Finally, Do not push. No matter what, do not force what is unfolding. Allow, lean into the space that created. The fact that you aren’t trying to go Mach 5 and get everything done. Allow those things to fall off the to-do list if they turn out to be less imporant than you thought. Relish space over everything.

Don’t over-schedule your days, pick one or two focuses at most—one or two meetings at most, with blocks for working and blocks for breaks.
Allow inspiration and intuition to dictate how your day unfolds, not others, not your ego.

The biggest key – if you focus on having space, you will find space. You will learn that you don’t have to be doing laundry while replying to emails while doing a hair mask and meal planning for next week. Do one at a time and see how it feels.

Your ego will be terrified at first, but keep with it. Move through the fear and allow yourself the space to dream again, to take things slow, and allow your inspiration to lead you instead of external forces.

Space is one of the most sacred gifts we can give ourselves. And I am only a few months into having this focus for my life. It’s already shocked me in its power and given me a renewed gratification for life and how I’m living.

Please don’t fear the space, embrace it. And allow it to surprise you in the most beautiful ways.