I remember in college I took up psychology, and after graduation had vague thoughts about pursuing it further. However since I was young, and restless, I just blew with the wind and ended up getting a degree in business administration. It was never my interest, but a gentle push by my father ended up with me getting my Master’s in business. I’ve gone through so many jobs, most of them meaningless, not financially, but emotionally.

This question has consumed me, what is really dharma? Is it really just the profession that we follow and train for? I think I am now realizing the answer: it is something you need to give to the world, or just do, for your own peace of mind. It maybe paid or unpaid, or it may give you happiness or a path of suffering. But one thing it does do, is it completes you. And gives a feeling of having arrived…..home. It is a silent, incessant searching from within, until you reach the feeling: “this is it!” I’m complete, I have nothing more to seek.

Perhaps you are materially happy in your profession, very skilled, very well paid. A head-hunter’s dream. And have a feeling of great satisfaction of accomplishment, but you may not feel complete. That something is till missing, that feeling does not go away in a regular profession. But when you do the thing aligned with your dharma, it is like you are mentally restful, no longer seeking somewhere better or higher.

“śhreyān swa-dharmo viguṇaḥ para-dharmāt sv-anuṣhṭhitāt

swa-dharme nidhanaṁ śhreyaḥ para-dharmo bhayāvahaḥ”

This is what Krishna says in the Bhagvata Gita.

This translates as: It is far better to perform one’s natural prescribed duty, though tinged with faults, than to perform another’s prescribed duty, though perfectly. In fact, it is preferable to die in the discharge of one’s duty, than to follow the path of another, which is fraught with danger.

Since Vedic astrology is greatly skilled in answering many complex questions, I’ve studied this question from many angles from the regular tenth house of profession, from the soul minister planet (Amtyakarka) and the soul planet (Atmakarka ) positions, from the moon (which is your mind) placement and any possible links that may have been overlooked. Queried many astrologers and other holistic therapists that can access the psyche.

Once, I consulted an astrologer whose YouTube channel ‘Exotic Astrology’ I enthusiastically follow, I again raised this burning question. And he said, “there is no one thing, your whole kundalini (horoscope) is your life purpose…” I understood the truth of his words, but my heart refused to accept his statement. Because deep down I have been searching, and it was so nebulous, that I was always lying under this layer of frustration. Even in my search for healing modalities, nothing was proving a good fit. I took that as a sign of my restless and versatile nature. After all, are we humans ever satisfied? Can we ever be complete? So much social conditioning further messes our head, on what is the right or the ideal way. And when you reach the so-called socially-prescribed destination point and end up with a feeling of anticlimax, again you put it down to your own inability to ever be complete.

Way back in 2012, I picked my favourite psychic’s brain. He advised me to follow the healing path. But which modalities should I imbibe? Frustratingly he could not sense. He said follow your heart. “My heart believes in everything!’, I said a bit frustrated. Actually it was not the heart speaking. The heart speaks seldom and only in whispers. You can only hear it in stillness, with great patience. And when it does speak, the doubting mind cannot comprehend it. It was just my outer, inquisitive mind grasping at all possibilities.

The other thing your dharma does, is however weak, sick, poor, broken, feeble or disabled you are, it starts supplying you with some intrinsic strength. It supports you in surprising ways. It just flows like a fountain from some hidden well within.

So when I joined the Ayurveda course, and felt like a fish swimming in water, I was surprised. I had this feeling of completeness that I never knew existed. When you reach your life purpose or dharma, you just KNOW it. It feels complete and right in your heart. And you cannot argue with the heart.