Maybe you keep attracting uncommitted men…

Maybe you keep attracting guys who aren’t the whole package; maybe he’s successful, very masculine and determined, but he also has no clue about how to treat women…maybe you meet guys who you have off the charts chemistry with, but he’s not going anywhere in life, he doesn’t challenge you, push you or inspire you…

Maybe you just keep attracting the same type of guy who is no good for you…

If you want to upgrade the kind of man you attract, there are a few things that need to happen in order to do that…

1: YOU NEED TO IDENTIFY WHAT KIND OF ROMANCE WOULD BE NOURISHING FOR YOU

Sounds obvious, but many of us aren’t actually connected to what it is that would be truly nourishing for us in a relationship. You need to identify what behaviours in a man would encourage your femininity to come out. What things would a man have to do/be in order for you to feel grounded, calm, elegant, sexy, confident?

Its behaviours that create attraction, not the way you look, your credentials or your rocking hot abs. You need to be aware of this so that you know what you are looking for, plus, if its emotional connection you are seeking, this is what will enable you to get it. This Going on “he needs to be hot, successful and fit” is not enough.

2: YOU PRIORITISE WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR OVER HIM

Your priority should be to seek out the qualities and specific behaviours he has rather than trying to make something work with a guy who is so hot he makes you feel flustered.

Just like a CEO would interview for a position, they need to see if someone is actually capable of the job.

You being committed to this above anything else works in your favour in a number of different ways…
– It raises the value he has of you in his eyes.

– It changes your motive from “How can I impress this guy?” to “Does this man fulfil my needs?”, meaning you ease up around him and create more chemistry.

– It also enables you to create more attraction as he will see you as someone who is going to be a challenge to get.

Its human nature to desire people more if we feel we have to work for it. It makes us feel even more worthy about ourselves accomplishing that goal too. Therefore, you both come to the connection as your best selves, feeling valuable as well as increasing the attraction.

3: YOU ACTIVELY REPEL THE OLD

You need to start shifting away from what you were attracting. Its not possible to be attracting the old and the new kind of guy you’re looking for at the same time.

You can do this physically, by actively saying no to old behaviours that do not serve you, and by putting yourself in new situations.

Also, look at what is going to happen to you if you keep being available for the old? Think of the worst case scenarios to scare yourself and give yourself a big CHARGE of energy AWAY from the old way of being/attracting.

4: YOU RECOGNISE YOUR ASSETS

You need to be comfortable holding the energy of the woman who is calling in a higher calibre of man. And the foundation of that is recognising your assets and your value inside a relationship. What amazing value do you bring to the table as a woman in an intimate connection?

What are your real assets? Not just your pretty face, how sexy you are and how good you are in bed, you will become more beautiful recognising your intrinsic value. But what is the value you hold as a woman in a relationship? Being connected to this will enable you to hold the energy the man you desire is deeply attracted to.

5: YOU LET GO OF YOUR PRECONCEPTIONS OF MEN

There’s nothing worse for connection than being with someone who clearly isn’t over or overcoming their past. When they are stuck in their preconceptions of men/women. When they start putting the behaviours of ex’s or past encounters on other people. Eg: ‘all men want one thing’, or ‘as soon as I get vulnerable men leave.’

The more you guard yourself, the more you push him away. And you need to be approachable to initiate connection. Men are attracted to women with a ‘zest for life’ and expansive mindset. Approach each connection with fresh eyes, and giving him a chance, if you are attracted to him, to see if he is capable of fulfilling the needs you have whilst also being guided by what you desire for yourself.

One of the biggest turn-offs I hear from men is women who play games because of what they’ve experienced in the past, or they speak to them as if they are better than them, or that they are super guarded and come across stuck up.

Leave your baggage at the door, come to it with fresh eyes.

6: YOU RECOGNISE HOW MANY MEN THERE ARE FOR YOU TO PICK FROM

This is super important. One of the biggest fears I hear from ladies is that they don’t believe the man they want is out there or available to them.

BUT…there is never a shortage of supply, only demand. Make sure you are clear on step 1.

You must recognise how many men there are out there for you. Putting your hopes on this one guy isn’t just bad for your vibration, but not seeing how many men there are out there for you causes attachment. We cling on to this guy we are settling for, or we do what we can to make sure he is attracted to us.

And a man NEEDS freedom in connection to flourish. Without you giving him freedom, he will inevitably run. Which is why it is important for connection, and for your own highest good, that you feel unlimited in the men you can attract.

So if you’ve been single a long time, it will usually be because of one/many of the above. Because if you really are an energetic match for the man you really want, he will start presenting himself to you.

For more articles and content on the subject, head to @rozware on Instagram