I have never handled suspense well. Anytime I watch an even slightly suspenseful movie I make sure to have a scarf nearby to cover my eyes (just in case). Every time I get to a suspenseful or uncomfortable part in a book I jump ahead and read the last chapter before continuing with the rest of the story. 

With fiction, we can easily deal with any discomfort from the unknown by reading the end. After finding closure we can then go back and read the rest of the story holding that last chapter in our thoughts, bringing more understanding and comfort.

We are all at a point in the same story where we don’t know what the ending will be, how it will end, or when a sense of normalcy will return. During this time of crisis dealing with COVID-19, we are all looking for the last chapter of this book. Everyone is speculating how and when it will end, but there is no way to know. We have to wait. The challenge is to find peace in the waiting. 

This mirrors another aspect of my life at the moment. I am looking for the last chapter, I am seeking a sense of closure. I recently went through an intensely painful breakup with my fiance. It’s easy to think that the breakup would be the end of the story, the end of our book together… but the breakup was not the last chapter. I truly thought the breakup was me jumping to the end and then I could go back and look at the rest of the story clearly. But the last chapter is a journey to closure called healing. 

The end of my relationship was filled with confusion. A sense of discomfort and emotional pain pervaded my thoughts daily. I desired to know the full truth of his infidelity all at once so I could then go back and deal with the rest with a semblance of understanding. I wanted this relationship to be handled the same way I handle a suspenseful novel.

As with the resolution of any good story, the truth and the details slowly rise to the surface allowing the reader to see the plot clearly. The conclusion is rarely ever abrupt. That’s where I am. As the truth finds it way to me, I have to deal with pain all over again but I am left with more clarity and the ability to take one more step forward. 

Just as I know I will eventually find closure and move forward, we all know that this pandemic will eventually end and normal lives will commence. We know this because we are a part of the story and have seen the foreshadowing. What brings us discomfort is the confusion and the inability to say, “This is when this pain will end.” “This is how this global issue will be resolved.” 

We feel like we need to jump ahead, but we are nearing the final chapter. We don’t have to keep looking for it. Looking for the details of the end brings anxiety. By addressing the discomfort and the fact that the unknown is bothersome is the first step in finding peace in the waiting and embracing the story as it unfolds. We are not in this story alone, everyone is struggling and worried. The whole world is anticipating the end of the book. Together, let’s find ways to find peace in the waiting in every story we are in, rather than jumping to the end and missing the lessons along the way.