More people than ever are searching for love online during the global pandemic. Those that have never used dating apps are swiping left and right. Before you jump on the lockdown dating wagon, ask yourself these 5 simple questions.

Are you over your ex?

You don’t want to be that person, who is on a dinner date (a virtual one for now) bringing your ex into the conversation way too many times. Or maybe you catch yourself swiping on online dating apps and thinking that no one is ever going to be as great as your ex.

Heal that wound first. It’s OK if you have a little scar left. That’s all the relationship wisdom you’re bringing to your next relationship. Just make sure it’s not an open wound. Heal first.

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Are you available?

You say you want to meet this great person. But are you willing to invest the necessary attention into that relationship?

I’ve got a cactus. Had it for the last year. Might have watered it six times during this whole time. As you can guess that cactus looks quite sad. It hasn’t bloomed.

If you want Eden Garden kind of relationship, you can’t treat it like a sad cactus. You’ll have to put some energy, time, and lots of effort to maintain it.

Are you willing to be vulnerable?

You are rather confident, well accomplished and you have all these great things going on in your life. Are you willing to open that place in your heart and let your lover in?

This might be ugly and painful. You may need to show that you’re far from being perfect. And that you’ve got sides of you that you’re not that keen on.

Of course, you can always lose yourself in the online dating scroll and form relationships that are just on the surface or do not involve any soul searching. However, your ability to open up is what you really need to create something truly magical.

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Do you see men in a positive way?

Finish this sentence. All men are_____
What’s the first thing that pops into your head?

All men are cheaters, they only want to use me because of my body. Men never respect me. I can only be with someone that I have to mother.

I’m convinced that we attract what we believe in. Very often what is around you is a reflection of what you invite in your life with your thoughts and your actions.

If you think that all men are cheaters, then guess what? You will attract a man who is very likely going to cheat on you. Or you will end up sabotaging that relationship. Audit your beliefs before you jump into dating.

Do you see yourself in a positive way?

The stories that you tell yourself about your body, your looks, your place in this world are extremely important. These stories very often have an impact on the kind of person that you attract.

If you see yourself in this light where you think that you are not good enough and you’re not worthy of a person who shows up in the way that you want, that treats you with respect and love. Then guess what?

You are only going to attract an unavailable man. A man who might be a narcissist, maybe someone who is emotionally abusive, someone that plays hide and seek.

I used to think this is all that I deserve. I was chasing unavailable men for a decade. With the work I do today I want to make sure that you do not make the same mistakes that I did when dating and looking for love.

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