Having conversations with friends is always interesting, especially when you’re closing in on 50.

My friend said, “I’m going to be myself, and if they don’t like it then that’s too f*cking bad. That means they’re not the right person for me.”

I thought okay, sure, we should definitely be ourselves. But, if we have unresolved issues from the past—daddy issues, love issues, abandonment issues, insecurity issues, trust issues, growth issues, and whatever other issues—it may be damaging to anyone unaware of said issues.

Although it may be convenient for us, it is quite inconvenient for anyone who attempts to enter into any kind of relationship with us. No one should have to put up with anyone else’s toxic behavior.

So although we are free to be ourselves, healing is required if we wish to move forward on a healthier path.

In order to heal, we have to do the work. It’s not somebody else’s job to fix us, or put us back together—that’s our own job.

In the end, what hurts us, challenges us, and pushes us outside our comfort zone is what creates growth. Owning our sh*t, genuinely owning it, is what changes us.

This change forces us to see and understand how our words and actions impact others. We can’t suddenly decide to stop taking responsibility for our actions.

Through this growth we can reach a better version of ourselves. And with that better version of ourselves, we finally see and understand our worth. 

With this newly found awareness comes a desire for better things to enter our life, and this in turn leads us to make better choices for ourselves going forward.

We will meet many “helpers” along the way, and their presence in our life, whether permanent or temporary, is to teach us something valuable. Some experiences will cut deeply, while others will stir our souls and open our hearts.

Sometimes, the lessons we need the most come from the most unexpected sources, so be open to all possibilities.