It’s so easy to fall in love. At first, it’s all butterflies, kisses, and love songs. It’s romantic dinners and deep conversations. But eventually, real-life sets in with disagreements, sins, and hard work. And when we neglect to do the hard work? Falling out of love can happen just as easily.

I’ve neglected my first love, even though he’s been wooing me all along. I’ve moved him to the back of my mind, the last one I think of, the last one I give to. I might talk to him throughout the day, but never for long.

So what’s working for me? Closing the door. Because the God who rescued me deserves all of me, not just my leftovers. He deserves my unrelenting focus and pursuit, not just my spare moments.

Jesus says to us — “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (Matt. 6:6)” The reason, He says, is so we will stop performing. So we won’t be like the Pharisees who pray so everyone will hear how well they pray. So we will get alone with the Father and truly be focused on Him alone.

It’s easy to say lots of flowery words about how much I love someone. But it’s in the secret place that I truly see them, hear them, and share my heart with them.

So how does one get alone with God when one has two small children? That is the question.

1.) Make a time. I know it doesn’t feel like you have one more spare minute in your day. But God doesn’t just want the spare minutes anyway. Carve out time, even if it’s a sacrifice. In the morning, in the evening, during your lunch break — whenever. And even if it’s five minutes, it’s better than nothing! On workdays, I’ve been waking early and taking ten minutes with God before I get ready to leave. On weekends, I’ve been either waking early or spending part of naptime.

2.) Be ready. Having my Bible, journal, and pen in the same place helps me to avoid excuses. Because when I try to spend dedicated time with God, the devil loves to give me all kinds of excuses — I’m sick, I’m too tired, I don’t have time, I don’t know where my Bible went… you know how it goes

3.) Close the door. If at all possible, find a room with a place to sit and close the door. For some reason, closing the door helps our hearts to feel safer, more vulnerable with God. We’re not worried about everyone else’s needs when the door is closed. We’re focused. And if you can’t close the door, find a place with minimal distractions (hard, I know, when your kids barge in whether invited or not!).

4.) Focus. Do whatever you can to make this time about you and God. For me, that means I need a pen and paper because I think better when I can write it down. It might mean using the Lord’s Prayer as a guide or going through a prayer list. Maybe it means choosing a book of the Bible to read and pray through. In the early morning, it’s easy for my mind to wander to the tasks of the day — but I try to entrust those things to God as they come to my mind, and move forward.

After watching much of the IF Gathering last weekend, I’m convinced that we need to work harder at loving God. The Bible is filled with words about discipline, training, dedication, perseverance in our walk with Him! And the first step is to get alone with Him, to renew our first love. As we work hard at loving Him, I believe He will bear great fruit and blessing in our lives, families, work, and world.

What’s working for you to get alone with God? Or what is your plan to get alone with Him?