So, for the last few weeks, I along with millions of other Mums have had the task of home schooling my kids. The internet is awash with people jumping on the band wagon to share ideas and experiences, among other things. There’s definitely a “community spirit” type thing happening between Mums, or at least that’s what it looks like on the surface. Don’t get me wrong, for some of us that’s exactly what it is – a sharing exercise. I think it’s safe to say, for the majority it’s a means to show off and make a statement to the world about how fantastic their home school is! I for one am not buying it!!!

For some this is a way of life and I admire those people, but after much reflection and careful consideration, I am not 100 percent convinced that I am comfortable or happy home schooling my kids. I truly believe it is the current circumstances that have driven me to this decision. …. Let me explain…

When the news was announced that schools would shut, I’m not going to lie, I sh*t myself! Other Mums where looking forward to having the kids at home and I felt like a terrible mum for feeling like this. Guilt washed over me, and I fell in to a serious well of anxiety. It is common knowledge that I work from home so when this announcement was made one of the first comments I received was: “oh you’re so lucky Kim you don’t have to worry about anything” … WHAT!!! Wait a minute!!! I now not only have to manage to work 8 hours a day, but I am also expected to home school my kids, how does that work?

Another well-known fact is that I am somewhat of a perfectionist, therefore everything must be just so… and this only adds to immense pressure. Don’t get me wrong the first week I muddled through teaching the kids using the downloadable resources school had so kindly bombarded us with – literally a timetable of work and resources to fill a normal 6 hour school day. For a short while I felt good, I was succeeding but then I got thinking… The stress was building up, I was losing patience, the kids where clearly homing in on the severity of the situation and things got a little crazy. We weren’t happy; our minds, while occupied were too busy focusing on the wrong things. All be it an act of nature and a shit one at that, we have been presented with a prime opportunity to really teach our kids something. This whole experience could provide life changing lessons and I am just letting it pass me by… For what?

I completely agree that our children should have their minds opened and challenged each day, I also agree that essential subjects like English and Maths should be kept on top of. When I say kept on top of, I don’t mean on top of the curriculum or up to speed with learning in line with school agenda; I mean they should keep well practiced and maintain the knowledge they have learnt in these lesson up to this point. Why should they be made to sit with someone who potentially has no knowledge in these areas and attempt to learn new things, it’s stressful, damaging and to be frank, cruel. I know my strengths lie in certain areas, English for one but definitely not maths. To put this in to context; my son has been asked to start learning about algebra, I have no knowledge in this area and I don’t feel it is right for me to try and begin to teach him this. I feel that I would be running the risk of a couple of things:

1. Damaging the confidence that his teachers have instilled in him as he wonders why this new maths topic isn’t sinking in
2. Not teaching it correctly by misinterpreting something with in the resources and my son then been left in a confused daze when he gets back to school because everything he has learnt is actually incorrect. Again, resulting in a massive blow to his confidence, and then having the task of unlearning what I have taught him to learn it correctly.

We’re not super human, we don’t all have the skills, knowledge and patience needed to teach our kids these new things, a good proportion of us are still working and don’t have the time needed to do it – and it’s not fair on us or our kids to sit in to the evening doing school work. School will therefore have to cover all this new stuff when they re-open to make sure these new concepts have been learnt correctly and by everyone. Am I right therefore, to see it as a waste of my kid’s time – maybe even counter-productive in some respects?

I’m totally up for learning new things but I do think there is a time and place to do it. We are in the middle of a global pandemic, a global emergency; people are scared and panicked. Levels of stress and anxiety are through the roof and for some reason we think our children need to be learning new academic concepts. In my mind now is the crucial and perfect time to be teaching them about coping strategies, real life education ( yes apply academic concepts) but essentially they should be learning how to keep their minds healthy and how to maintain friendships; after all, we all need some form of contact other than with our direct family, especially at the moment. I want them to focus on the positive things, so they can remember the good things that we learnt and did; surely, we need to take as much stress out of learning as we can. They are already confused about the situation new ideas only add more stress and confusion to the equation.

So, what does our day look like if we aren’t conforming to the national message of home schooling. The answer to that is – different every day. We don’t have a routine, but we do fit in 1 or 2 hours of maths and English each day. In maths we keep to areas that they have already covered. In English we write stories, diary entries, discuss how we feel, debate ideas and issues around current affairs. They both play instruments – guitar and drums (yes, the house gets noisy). They’ve been building at home with their Dad, learning new things like how to mix cement, that’s all maths and ratio, and a life skill they can keep under their belt for later – Maybe? We’ve built models, made remote control cars – there’s a bit of science in there somewhere. I’m not going to lie, they’ve played a whole lot of Xbox – this is their lifeline at the moment; they can play, read, learn about strategy and planning and keep in touch with their friends all through one tiny box. Despite this, the most important thing is that they aren’t, scared, they aren’t stressed, they aren’t anxious. They know that this will pass, and they will be back to school at some point. They’ve learnt to recognise when their mind needs a break and when this happens to step away. I don’t want their memory of this time to be filled with the negative things, I want them to look back at “the bad time in history” and pull the positives out of it. All these things myself and my husband are doing with our kids are aimed at their personal growth and development, with a splash of academics in there. The application of academia to real life adds a different layer or dimension to our understanding.

We need to learn that our kids’ minds aren’t that different to ours, they might be less developed than ours, but they still feel the same emotions. The triggers of these emotions might seem small and insignificant to us but to our children they are at the centre of their world – after all they don’t have money or work worries! We need to understand that teaching them coping techniques now, will serve them well in the future. Show them that anxiety and stress don’t always serve us, teach them that change is a good thing and that sometimes trying to continue in a daily routine because that’s what we know won’t serve us well across all of the situations that we experience. They are learning to be adaptable, to be resilient, to go with the flow and embrace change, they are learning coping strategies, how to step away when things get a bit too much, and all this amid uncertainty.

So no, I don’t agree with keeping to the school timetable, or following the structure of each day’s lessons. There’s a bigger picture, a massive opportunity and I don’t want to miss it. So far, I think me, and my kids are nailing being at home and learning together. Let’s face it Ofsted aren’t about to rock up on my doorstep to assess how my kids are learning and how good I am at teaching them!