Pro-sobriety is different from anti-drinking, and that can be confusing.

Friends ask my husband, “So does she hate you drinking now? Does she let you drink at home still? Do you feel weird drinking in front of her now?” These are all normal, common questions that he gets now that I don’t drink. So I will try to explain.

I see alcohol differently now. My belief in alcohol and what it is and what it does for me has changed. My relationship with alcohol went from a fun positive in my life to a disturbing negative one. I don’t see fun and celebration and comfort and warmth anymore.

I see pain outweighing pleasure; I had no idea how sick I was until I stopped drinking. I see more darkness than I do light. I see alcohol like a liquid poison that will hurt me and make me sick if I drink it (because it will).

Now, with that being said, my husband drinks, all of my friends drink, and my family on both sides enjoy drinking. How I feel about alcohol and its effect on me has nothing to do with anyone else. That sounds harsh, but it’s the truth. I don’t care if other people drink. I don’t care if they get wasted. I don’t mind what others think about alcohol or how others feel about alcohol. Trust me, if I could still drink safely, I would, but I can’t, and that’s okay. I am certainly not judging.

Being pro-sobriety gives me the strength and courage to live in our culture that promotes and celebrates and normalizes drinking alcohol. Choosing to live alcohol free can feel like a radical decision, going against the grain, and challenging the status quo. So instead of feeling weak and vulnerable being the different one, I’m choosing to feel empowered and rebellious (maybe even proud). Lord knows it’s not easy!

Sharing all of the beautiful things I have experienced in sobriety makes me feel good. I never thought in a million years that I could be happy not drinking alcohol, and I am. I’m not pretending I am or making the best of my situation or lying to myself. I am a happier, healthier girl now that I am sober.

I want to make sobriety less scary and promote it as another fantastic option, especially for my children.

So, friends and family, drink up—and yes, I still want to be invited to the party!