Today I noticed that I have a multitude of definitions for time. Globally during this pandemic time we ARE redefining time. Time has always equaled something to me. Time equals money. Time spent. Time to go. Timely.  Timelines.  Being on time.  Sense of time.  Time to follow.  Right time, right place.  Telling time.  Time is always turning and spinning never truly stopping.  Past, present, and future time. Who’s measuring? Who’s telling the time?  Collective definitions state such proclamations: Since the beginning of time….or The END of time. Is there such a thing?  There is time on a clock.  Time on a watch.  The earth turning measured in human terms plays out in seconds and minutes and hours. Time is measured in sunrises/sunsets and months/seasons and birthdays/holidays.  Measured in days around our Sun.  None of these traditional ways really define time for me.  When one says, “that was timeless” there is the quality conveyed; magical “infinity”… Endless time.

Math can define time and while Newton’s mathematical definition of time is clear and succinct “absolute, true and mathematical time, of itself, and from its own nature, flows equably without relation to anything external.”  Time defined in physics starts to crumble under this simple theory and I have had a hard time not going along a line of thought and reason to start questioning absolutely everything related to time and space in my life.
I’ve always struggled to keep up!  I’ve done things on my own time.  I’ve whipped myself into submission to follow time, be on time and keep up.  I was both a late bloomer and ahead of the times… but I’ve never been behind or ahead of my time.  I have done many non traditional unconventional things in my time.  I left home at 18 to ride my bike around New Zealand for months in 1988. Ran 1st marathon at age 19.  I had children late starting in my 30s.  I became a health professional after re-education for a medical degree at 46!  I’m already seeking retirement at 50!  During all my unconventional choices I’ve been aware that I’m traveling through time to the pulse, to the beat, to the ticking of time, at my own pace.
I have this very personal phenomenal experience that happens when I look at myself moving through time and space.  I used to run all the time.  I ran for pleasure.  I was competitive only with myself for time and distance.  I ran solo a steady pace for long distances.  I would find that whenever I chose to run in a social event like 10k or marathons I’d always end up running alone. I could never hang with the pace of the pack. I’d be passed by many people throughout a race and I’d pass only a few people myself but I’d look ahead and see no one and look behind and see no one and think, ‘wow how is it that I choose to be running today with all these people and not see anybody?’ How was I keeping a 7:58 minute mile pace or a 10:15 min mile pace and nobody else was?  Is it just; I’ve been aware of some special time slot?  A pace just for me in universal infinite time?  Am I destined to time travel solo?  I found a simple but not so simple explanation reading a book called Einsteins Dreams. Einstein’s  definition of time proved “the duration of time between two events can vary depending on how fast you are moving in the period between the events.” Cause and effect alter time continuums.  My start time and finish time was alterable by virtue of so many variables.

I used to wonder about this notion as a kid before I ever knew who Newton or Einstein were.  I remember being in an elevator going up to see my grandma in her very tall apartment building.  In a previous visit to her house I learned about the reality of gravity and speed from the dropping her red glass elephant off the balcony and waited to see it hit the ground, listening for the sound of glass breaking (although I never saw it hit, never heard it break…too high up) this ride up in the elevator I questioned; was I traveling faster going up then the elephant traveled to get down after I dropped it?  Was time somehow faster or slower if one were going away from earth or falling towards it? Was time faster up above the earth or walking down upon it?  I did not know it but I was moving between Newtonian and Einstein Time theory at age 6.  Spacetime continuum’s and theory of relativity had not been explained to me…..but I was aware that something magical was happening in relation to time and space.

Being in the right time and right place has been a deep journey of acceptance and understanding for me. Yet, in living my life whatever timeline I travel I know when I’m gone I won’t really be gone.  I’ll still be woven among all things moving along the great continuance. The time line (or is it a circle?) will keep on stretching out, expanding, contracting, lengthening, shortening forever.  All the places I have touched have altered the fabric of life. Karma. Cause and Effect. How each of us interacts with each other and life makes an impression on the infinite timeline. Interdependence.  How we move forward, away from this period of time we have been asked to sit still, while time marches on, matters.  Our definition of time is changing.  Experts in the mental health field warn us of all the ways this change in the times impacts our mental health.  There are quickly becoming terms for the stress associated with this pandemic. “Temporal disintegration” and “acute punctuated stress” are a direct result of the change in definition of time.  How we view time daily and how time will look for each of us individually and as a whole after this period of pandemic time is over can be what we want it to be based on our perspective and our choices for how we spend time. Letting our sense of time change can be okay. We are adjusting and bending with the times. Share with me how you find yourself in these times and what pieces of significance you will hold onto from this period of reflection as you move forward in your life.  I want to know.