Photo: [Teamwork Arts]

I’m new here at Elephant Journal, and I’m so happy to join you on the one hand. On the other it is daunting. Another search for my tribe through this platform, (I mean I was raised in Boulder, Colorado. I have a band called Hippie Tendencies- if my peeps aren’t here?!) another deep dive into trying to meaningfully connect with like-minded folks online. I’m an American singer/songwriter/poet/blogger all around writery sort of person based in Italy. I woke up this morning thinking, what to post here?

I know so many are feeling adrift without their usual routine while on lockdown. Here in Italy lockdown is lifting, but for musicians that doesn’t change much, because live music will be the last thing to be permitted. I do miss performing. The instant connection with an audience. The commune of the moment, where music and melding are all there is. Spending so much time online, trying to make the most of this moment though, I’m finding difficult. I, like so many, thought- Okay, I am going to use all this time, to the best of my ability, to get some serious work done. In my case, this means spreading word of my newly released album so as not to lose momentum gained.

Thirsty!

I had a nice run in November through Italy, Austria, and the Czech Republic- then January in India promoting my latest endeavor, released on March 13th, and then boom we hit the Covid-19 wall. Suddenly my trip to the States, poof, up in smoke. Our UK tour in July: see ya sucker! Every. Gig. On. The. Calendar. Gone. Now I just typed that up there pretty dramatically, but honestly, as I was saying previously, I thought, well, this is the time to hunker down and be creative. Reflect on what the pandemic is and where it leads, as well as continuing to spread the word, find the people my album “NoteSpeak” was written for…The thing is though, everyone online is looking for a sandwich and are hella thirsty to boot. The Internet is so loud. I am crazy happy when I find work that is inspiring online and am thrilled when I am able to connect with people who share the adoration I have for the magical world where a well-turned phrase lives married to ‘nother level music. But, oh my, it takes a long time to find those people ’cause the Internet is so loud.

Bunnies!

There are only so many hours in the day one can meaningfully engage with the glut of content that is out there and of course, there are those damn rabbit holes. (Rabbit holes… Bunnies!  Aww – bunnies are the new cats right?)

But back to meaningfully engaging. On every social site I am on I don’t just collect people. I read people’s blog/book/poetry and listen to the music and watch the videos, then go back and comment with a sincere opinion. Sometimes it’s not easy because, to put it bluntly, some shit is just not up to par. But you wanna be encouraging, especially in these tender times, so I look for the good and comment accordingly. This all takes time. Time better spent creating?

Churning!

I have always been of the opinion that I do not want to create in a vacuum. I know many great musicians that no one will ever hear because they don’t get their work out there. There are the lucky few artists that get discovered with no effort on the part of the creator, but from what I’ve seen, the vast majority of those who are able to make a living out of their art are the ones that hustle. People tell me- Oh you’re so lucky, you are living your best life. I am not lucky. I made this shit happen. Being an independent musician for more than 20 years? One has to commit. Write the music, find the money to record it, book the band, promote the shows – during all of this? Rehearse and rehearse and rehearse some more, play some cover gigs so you can pay your rent and do it all again. Now, there is a lot of music out there, and if you want a chance at reaching your people you have to be willing to put in the time. Gotta learn new skills continuously; video making, photo taking, the art of the perfect tweet, (no-one does it better than @LindaInDisguise) or Insta post (@pluto.living is the epitome of excellent Instagram-got pathos AND giggles). In short, learn marketing skills. Churn out that content. But, but, but. When that shit starts taking more time than time spent creating- something feels off. A continual focus on; hear me, see me, read me, love me cannot be healthy.

Transcendence!

If the moment that is best, that is transcendent, is the moment of creation, shouldn’t that be where the majority of hours are spent? The moments that feel precious and right to me are those spent honing my craft and creating. Those incredible incandescent instants of feeling; I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing and all is alright right now. Those days when time truly has no meaning. When you begin work rising early in the morning, look up and it’s already dusk and where did those hours go? That immersion tells me I am on the path I was meant to tread.

There are two schools of thought when it comes to producing art. My writing partner Marco comes from the, ‘make it and they will come’ school, while I attend the, ‘look at all these out of work artists, to be able to survive as a creative I better hustle!’ school.

Being liberated from my resident gigs freed up time, which I was rather excited about. Because performing regularly also requires a large investment of hours. I thought Ooooo I’m going to be able to do it all. ‘Cause here I am torn between multiple projects… I have a solo album, about the search for and finding of my biological family, in mind. I’m writing a book. The followup to the album I’ve just released is halfway there. I love writing my blog & poetry and I work a bit on each of these things every week. I have a schedule. I am committed. Yet, it’s still so hard to find the balance between sitting in my studio and ignoring the world vs putting the material out there. How exhausting the tug of war between just allowing myself to work on these projects and the need I feel to connect with others, especially now.

Especially now…

Now when there are so many aspects to this historical moment, so many stories, so many consequences reverberating, so many societal inadequacies, injustices – illuminated… And those without the cachet that our modern society deems worthy? Those whose voices struggle hardest to rise above the cacophony? How does any writer leave them unsung, unheard? Oh, the urgency of all the pain that is whirling through the cosmos now. Oh! The noise of all of us snatching at our sandwiches. I write music, poetry, essays, and stories because- if it’s on my mind it’s on someone else’s and I want to share it. I write about things that, if they ain’t on your radar they oughta be. Ain’t nothing like hearing something you haven’t yet found the words to articulate but feel in your gut – sung out. Ain’t nothing like being heard. Felt. Seen.

I guess it all comes down to, what can I do which will benefit the most people? That is where my focus must lie, that is how my decision must be made each day, and, really, does it matter if that focal point varies from day to day? None of us know what lies ahead. This is a time of unprecedented uncertainty… One thing that we can be sure of, though, is that we are all connected. That every sentient being is a part of the whole. Let me spend my hours, minutes, days, weeks, years celebrating that and let my every action reflect it. So, here I go. Again. Hello, Elephant Journal lovelies. I’m ready to dive deep into another community.

Some of the many many people and things that have inspired me these last couple of months.

Damian Barr

Jericho Brown

The Pandemic is a Portal with Arundathi Roy and Imani Perry

Prepare for the Ultimate Gaslighting

Randy Rainbow

Poem – The First Lines of Emails I’ve Received While Quarantining

Regina Harris Baiocchi

Forrest Gander

Ropeadope Records