How crazy is it that the persona you are living could be just a protective layer?

In my work as a life coach, I do a lot of healing work. Many people would assume that life coaching is mostly focused on the mind, but in fact, it’s a body and subconscious practice to undo deep layers of conditioning. And sometimes, it takes us all the way back to inner child work.

Most of us need to heal on a deep, foundational level, but most don’t know how to go about it. So, when people come to me wanting to connect with themselves on a soul level, I help them realize that it’s okay to shine and to know they can trust—that it’s okay and safe to do so. 

I’ve seen a trend with women lately. We struggle to trust ourselves enough to show up in an authentic way. As women, we are on a constant comparison loop in which we measure ourselves up to what we see around us. Often, we fail to allow ourselves to be uniquely, authentically us. 

When I started on this self-work to find my own authenticity for the first time, I was shocked at the layers that came off. I always thought I loved to be busy. I was always on the go, go, go. I thought I loved to do all the things all the time. But when I started doing healing work, I realized I didn’t actually like that at all. It wasn’t authentically me.

I’ve noted that a lot of us women put on the busy hat because we don’t know how to take care of ourselves, or don’t want to slow down and get to know ourselves on a deeper level.

So many women struggle with balancing our masculine and feminine energies.

Each type of energy feels and does different things for us personally and in our businesses. Feminine energy is really about the flow and ease of things. Surrendering and allowing; just being. Masculine energy is the go, go, go and the do, do, do. It comes with really intense confidence.

We tend to go heavy into the masculine when we don’t feel safe. But when energies are balanced, there’s structure and fluidity; everything just flows. It’s a beautiful way of living.

Women are continually bombarded by images of perfection, and are often accompanied by an energy of imperfection, which can tax our minds. But you know what, most of the time, when we see that girl who “woke up like this,” it’s not 100 percent real anyway. So why compare ourselves to people on social media (hello, filters!), or in that case, ever?

The best way to deal with the comparison loop is to learn to ignore what you see.

To me, the feminine side means healing—the healing circle of sisterhood. It’s about allowing ourselves to receive and knowing that it’s safe to receive. It’s allowing ourselves to be fluid, to flow, and to feel safe in doing that.

Here are six things you can do right now to sink into your feminine power:

Hint: Feeling safe is a big part of bringing out feminine energy.

1. Connect with your breath.

It’s a big way to feel safe. Listening to your own heartbeat is kind of like feeling the chair beneath you. You can feel that it’s all safe, and that you’re supported. 

2. Meditation.

Grounding yourself and using mirror work can really help you connect and truly see yourself.

3. Embody ease.

We all want this feminine flow, but are we actually embodying that behavior? Most of the time, the answer is no. If you want to be that flowy receiving woman of ease you have to start being her now. You have to embody her. This may sound silly to some people, especially if the concept is new. Dance alone. Be in your body—this is your body, after all. It’s okay to feel sexy. It’s great and it’s powerful.

4. Journal.

Sit down with your journal and write about the things that you’re grateful for. Coming from a place of gratitude is a huge shifter of perspective and energy. 

5. Write some affirmations about yourself.

And remember to always remain positive. Then, read them to yourself while connecting with yourself in the mirror. Say those positive things about yourself, and say them out loud. It can be really emotional and some stuff can surface. When it does, take note of those things because then you can look at them head-on and figure out why they made you feel like that. It’s a good way to connect with yourself.

6. Root down.

Visualize roots going down into the ground from your body. Sometimes, It’s really hard to feel grounded in this world. This can help.

Whatever you decide to try, make it a practice or ritual, then dedicate yourself to growing into the beautiful woman who is underneath the surface, ready to come out and dance.