What does it mean to be alive?

It is not enough that your heart is beating. Being alive is about feeling, caring, dreaming… When you feel alive, then you are alive. But when you’re dead on the inside… you are Dead!  That’s what depression does to you.

When you suffer from depression, all you can see is a dark future, and that’s the worst part of it. The goals you once set for yourself become fantasies. The butterflies and rainbows become demons and shadows of your own past haunting you, waking you up at night, beating you up every time you try to relax, convincing you that you are a failure… you are worth Nothing!

You will be asking yourself now, what could be the positive side of this?

Well, let me tell you… when you’re in depression, you’re in hell! And when you go to hell and back, only then you can have a taste of heaven.

Imagine yourself drowning in the middle of the ocean, not being able to breathe, there’s nobody around you, nothing to hold on to… After a while, you start to lose hope, knowing for sure that this is it, this is the end! But then, someone holds your hand and lifts you up so you can feel the wind blowing on your face. And you take a breath so deep that you can feel it in your lungs. At this moment, you appreciate the air that you once took for granted… And that’s what it feels like. It’s a near death experience!

When you’re healed from depression, you start to appreciate life, because at some point you thought you have lost it. You start to appreciate little things around you. You feel joy in every little thing that you do. Even washing the dishes, or cooking a meal are no longer felt as chores. Since you didn’t have the energy to do these things before.

Depression changes you for good, it changes who you are and how you view the world around you.

It’s a different kind of misery, that once it’s over you feel at peace with yourself. You will experience euphoria like never before. And that’s when you discover that happiness comes from within. The well of happiness cannot depend on consumption and passing pleasures from outside the inner self. And no one can make you happy except what is in the harmony of what you are.

You realize that your happiness and peace of mind comes first. You are no longer responsible for people’s feelings, and that’s when you start doing what’s best for you…and only You! This is the best “survival skill” that depression teaches you.

The time you’ve spent alone was a time for you to grow, a chance to think on a deeper level… a time to think of the real meaning of life, away from all the chaos. And suddenly you start enjoying your own company.

You struggled for so long to stay alive, and you’ve made it. Now you know your worth, you know how strong you are to have gone through that pain and still, you’ve made it! It gives you the power to fight every time you go down, because you never surrendered to what you thought was your destiny… and you never will!

So yes, depression is a lesson. Life itself is a lesson. All the troubles you go through bring you closer to your inner self, and closer to the person that you need to be.

So, if you’ve been through that hell, consider yourself blessed.