It feels like the world is at war.

Acting like it’s every man for themselves.

Submerged in so much pain and grief that we are becoming numb to it—each tragedy another nod to what this year is taking.

We all have our own feelings about masks, COVID, our president, and the exhausting fight that should have ended centuries ago granting all humans equal rights in this nation.

I won’t bombard you with my personal beliefs or convince you that my way of thinking is the end all be all, because there’s enough of that.

My heart is overwhelmed.

I have friends navigating unexpected, tragic, breathtaking loss.

I see so many respected colleagues feeling defeated in this uphill battle of business ownership.

While so many others fight like hell to find a way to make an income after their career was pulled out from underneath them without warning.

I’ve had an awakening, a front row seat to just how far away we are from a united nation—one that lets go of the ridiculous belief that the color of our skin holds the power to make anyone superior or inferior.

The pain is turned up so loud and I’ve been quiet because I don’t really know how to talk about it without yelling about it.

But then I realized: we are at war because we are afraid.

Some are afraid with all we’ve got that this virus will kill us or the ones we love.

While others fear that if we lean into the pandemic and the protective procedures we are being asked to put in place that we will lose our businesses, our economy, the tangibles we’ve worked tirelessly for.

Some have racism so deeply rooted in their family tree that an honest step outside those lines terrifies them.

While others are exhausted and defeated from trying to educate the ones who can’t find the courage to open their hearts.

My dad always tells me that when we hold in how we really feel for too long, our hearts eventually erupt.

As a nation, we have erupted.

More pain, honesty, and deeply rooted biases than we ever cared to meet face-to-face.

But here we are.

Finally facing what we have spent centuries turning our cheek to.

We will come out of this year changed people—that is one of the rare things I know.

But whether our souls are intact, whether we let the fear drive us toward love instead of hate, and whether we release our own ego long enough to see we were never supposed to fight this fight divided: 

Well, that is up to us.