*Warning: salty language ahead!

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While combing the internet for anal sex stories, I have concluded that there are only two types of stories written about the experience of anal sex.

One which details that if you try it, you’ll like it! These are usually written by a girl who didn’t like it at first but tried it with an open mind and learned that she could tolerate it. Or maybe even has grown to like it after giving it a fair chance.

These articles are almost always finished up with a segment of tips or tricks you can try. Slapped at the bottom are the same three to five suggestions to have your partner do so that you too can loosen up and try to learn to like anal sex.

These articles are annoying to me, because I will admit it: getting fucked in the ass isn’t for everyone. There isn’t a single girl who should feel like she needs to give it “a fair shot” to know whether she wants to do it.

No one should ever feel pressure to try something they are uncomfortable with, not by their partner and not by society.

Sometimes no amount of tips, tricks, or lube will make the act of getting something shoved in your ass comfortable or enjoyable.

The second type of article is also usually written by women, but it’s a different type of woman. This one has had a bad experience with having anal sex. I’ve read dozens of these, and the common thread in most of them is that the person they were with was kind of shitty, pun intended.

The person you are with plays an enormous role in the entire experience of sex, and that includes anal. It takes a large amount of trust in your partner to take chances and try new things in the bedroom.

When you are doing something new and different, if the person you are with lacks sensitivity or empathy to your physical and emotional needs, you will more than likely not enjoy yourself.

For the First Time

My high school boyfriend was 21 when I was 17. He had a lot more experience in the bedroom than I did, but I was madly in love with him, to the point where I would do almost anything.

When he brought up the idea of anal sex, I tried to sound excited about trying it but was honestly horrified. The idea seemed gross and painful and was not anything that my teenage brain could wrap its head around and think was sexy. I nicely turned him down and thought that was the end of it.

But a few weeks later, when my boyfriend and his roommate had a house party, I had a little too much to drink. I was never a drinker in high school, so it only took two or three drinks to make me feel completely out of control.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to his bedroom. When we first started making out, I was all for it. He pulled my clothes off because, in my state, I couldn’t do it myself.

We started having sex, and it felt amazing. It was the first time I was having sex intoxicated.

In the middle of sex, he switched positions, placing himself behind me. Without saying a word, he shoved himself into my ass.

I immediately protested, telling him he had the wrong hole, drunk enough to think it was a mistake.

No matter how much I tried to pull away or how many times I told him to stop, he didn’t listen. He grabbed my hips and kept on thrusting.

When the whole ordeal was over, I ran to the bathroom. I was crying and in pain, only realizing after going to the bathroom that I was bleeding.

Only Brave When Drinking

For a long time, that traumatic first experience scared me. I wouldn’t let any of my partners anywhere near my butt and immediately told them no if the subject of anal sex was brought up.

And it always was.

In every relationship I have ever had with a man, anal sex is a subject they bring up. Ass fucking is like the great frontier of the slightly adventurous single male. They feel it is their right to explore it.

It wasn’t until four years later, in a committed relationship, that I even talked about the possibility of trying it again. I was in college, almost 21, and he was 30.

Our relationship was different than it was with my high school boyfriend. I trusted my college boyfriend more than I had trusted the men who came before.

The most significant difference was our level of commitment. In front of my parents and sisters, he had gotten down on one knee and told me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

I thought that he was pretty nice, and it would be great to have someone around all the time. We got along really well and spent a lot of time laughing. So I said yes, even though what I really meant was, “Eh, why not?”

Once we were engaged, he began to circle around to the same question all guys inevitably seem to ask.

He wanted to try having anal sex.

By this time, I had to admit that I was a little bit curious about what it would be like to try with someone who loved me, not just said they loved me. So we bought a bottle of wine, and I got really buzzed.

At first, it was unconformable. But as we eased into it, I started to like it. I didn’t really want him to know that, because I didn’t think girls were supposed to like it. Anal sex was supposed to be something we did because we loved the men we were with, but it wasn’t something that was supposed to get us off.

After that relationship ended, I had a string of relationships, none very significant. I moved and started dating this guy who didn’t drink but liked it when I did.

I would get drunk, show up at his place, and we would begin fooling around. Because I was intoxicated, I often brought up anal, knowing it was something he enjoyed.

I acted like it was all for him and naively thought he thought it was all for him as well.

I was always drunk enough to be brave enough to ask, but still not brave enough to admit that I enjoyed it.

One day, watching movies and eating pizza, he asked me why I only asked for anal when I was drunk.

“Obviously, you like it, so we could do it more often.”

Having not entirely come to terms with the fact that I really enjoyed anal sex on my own quite yet, I didn’t want this guy I was casually seeing to start talking to me about it. The conversation made me uncomfortable, even though it was something that turned me on a lot.

I brushed off the conversation and told him that he was wrong, then I stopped seeing him after that.

There were a few more relationships where I would get drunk and practically beg for them to post up behind me and slide right in. We never talked about it afterward, though some tired.

The entire thing made me awkward with all of them, and I wasn’t ready to talk about it. So we got drunk, had anal sex, and then never talked about it, and for a while, it worked.

The One who Changed it All

Then I met D, my most recent relationship. We had this hot, sexual connection from the moment we met. I wanted to touch him, and I wanted to be touched by him constantly. I went from not dating or sleeping with anyone to wanting to lock ourselves away in my bedroom and make love to him all day.

Every time he touched me, it felt like electricity on my skin. I craved everything about him physically and couldn’t get enough of him.

Then one night, after dating for a little while, I got ready for a special night out. After dinner and drinks, we headed back to his place. I could almost dance I was so excited.

We got busy, kissing and stripping the moment we walked in the door. We couldn’t keep our hands off of each other.

Then for the first time, I asked a man if he wanted to have anal sex. I was just drunk enough to be brave enough to ask him, but with him, it was so different, I think I would have asked him even if I wasn’t drunk. We’d only been dating a week or so, but he knew my body better than any lover I had ever had.

I trusted him to keep me safe and make me feel good, and he did. Oh, he did.

The next morning we talked about it, and it wasn’t awkward. We laid in bed and he brushed my hair out of my eyes, and told me how it turned him on that I came out and asked for it.

Not Every Girl Hates Anal

It wasn’t until I met D that I realized how much I liked being on top while we had anal sex. Trying it in that position hadn’t ever occurred to me. Now, it’s my favorite. I get to be in control and take things at whatever speed I feel comfortable with. I also get to ease myself as fast or as slow as I want when we start.

I love the position because I get to stare into his eyes or kiss him if I want.

There was always something about doing it from behind that felt disconnected to me. The guys were in complete control and often went too fast or didn’t enter slow enough for me to be comfortable.

Plus, when I’m on top, if I lean back and place my hands on his legs, then he can rub my clit and bring me to a more intense climax.

Switching up the positions brought my level of arousal and pleasure even higher.

Now, I ask for it whenever I want it. Sober or drunk, it isn’t a big deal.

For the longest time, I was afraid to admit that the idea of letting someone fuck my ass was a turn on. I was too ashamed to ask my partner to do something to me that made me orgasm.

Loving anal sex has as much to do with me as it has to do with the partner I’m dating. It wasn’t until I found the right partner that I could openly talk about how much I liked it, why I liked it, and how it turned me on.

A bad experience doesn’t mean that you’ll never enjoy it, but an okay experience doesn’t mean you will ever enjoy it.

It’s all about personal preference. Sometimes I feel like I’m a weirdo, the one lonely girl who likes anal sex as much, or sometimes even more, than regular sex. But truthfully, as much as I would like to think I’m a unicorn, I’m not.

So, to the girl who likes anal and might be too ashamed to talk to her partner about it or ask for it, you do you, girl. I promise you, you’ll find the right partner who will love to explore anal and a plethora of other erotic things with you.