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Sometimes, we still cope,
similar to the old ways.

Not the same,
but feels familiar.

We are teetering on the edge,
walking that line.

And we feel familiar tugs of the past.
Not the same way we used to escape
from feeling the brutality of life,
but similar in origin and taste.

Maybe, this is the invitation
to be kind to the self
who needs relief,
who still wants to find relief
and comfort.

Needs comfort in ways
we are still learning how to give
and be raw with the mess of it all.

Life isn’t always pretty.
It’s guts and emotions,
chaos and overwhelm,
unforeseen challenges,
dirt, and muck.

Sometimes we cope
the only way we know how.
And that’s okay.

It’s not wrong.
It’s not wrong
to feel soothed.

To be soothed in ways
that used to feel like self-betrayal
by our judgmental lens.

We can notice it,
accept what used to feel unacceptable.
Allow the self to be imperfect,
to not hold it all together
for once.

We are tired of holding it all,
managing it all.
We are exhausted from it all.

So maybe, in that,
we can find deeper love,
compassion for the self who needs to let go,
and not hold it together.

Let this be the soothing
we are seeking in substance.

Even if we choose it,
may we allow for more grace,
not less.