I have always, almost always been a self-help geek.

For a while there maybe six months or even a year, I berated myself for such nonsense.

You have everything you need right inside of yourself! They are always trying to sell us something new because, ‘maybe this will work’ or you just aren’t quite perfect yet. We are needy. We lack self-confidence might be a better way to say that succinctly. We do have to learn to get out of our own way. We must learn how to parent ourselves!

And if it ain’t enough that we can do nothing right, our career – making dinner – taking care of our family – taking care of ourselves – the garage is a mess! There is a book out there telling us how to do it and life will then be bliss! Do you see what the chasm consists of? Our own unappreciative selves. Every single one of us is awesome. But some days we do feel like shit. What can we do with these days, these moments, these weeks, these years?

I have always enjoyed a glass of wine or two. Some days it’s up to three or four or more. I told one doctor how I was managing and she said “Oh, you are self-medicating’ you better tell your other doctor.

My brother-in-law was ailing with a five syllable-non fixable disease. I said to my sister, how about CBD oil – that might help. I started looking for CBD oil. And then I sent it to her. It worked. It didn’t work – it helped. Why do we slave so hard for others but not give the same attention to our self? I’m not talking about me and Jane, I’m talking about us and our husbands. Us and our families. Women are compulsive caregivers to the neglect of our own well-being.

One of my doctors called this ‘caregiver resentment.’ How’s that for fitting the bill?

So now we have listed two ways to cope. Alcohol and CBD. You can add your own coping techniques if you like. Yes, somehow one vial of CBD didn’t make it to Jane and I said, why not?

Who are your self-help favorites? Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle, Ken Robinson, what about an ancient Napolean Hill? Jack Kornfield, How about Dr. Dyer? Another ancient one that has become a reference for me is Candace B. Pert’s Molecules of Emotion. Matthew Kelly is a newbie added and M. Scott Peck has been a favorite. What do I keep in the bathroom you ask? The Meaning of Life by Bradley Trevor Greive. everyone should have this amazing book. Have you ever tried Meditation by Marcus Aurelius? Do you think this malady is something new? Jen Sincero’s “You are a Badass” is another new favorite.

Self-help books are a huge part of my ‘rescue – emergency’ kit. Rarely I can read fiction without a mountain of guilt. There are two things I have learned and implemented this past year that I just love – they are working! I am working at my own happiness! I will share these two small but powerful tricks.

Listening, paying attention, taking notes is a big part of coping, managing, thriving! I say that with some hesitancy – because the bad days are so bad – but the good days are more frequent. One guru asked, “What’s in your arsenal? What do you do to feel better? I said Huh? I have always been a journal person. I found my ancient diaries from the 70’s! There you have two basics. Journaling and Reading. One day I’m listening to a self-help guru and they said that everyday we should spend a few minutes reading upbuilding material. I have been doing that all my life! But what’s interesting is that these few minutes at the beginning of each day, make a bigger difference than sitting and reading a book! I also have one quote on my fridge. “Women Who Change the “World by Ashley Rice by simply showing up, by making a difference, making their way, women who make us smile, women like you!” Those two things are very similar, but they are both very powerful. This constant, consistent positive self-talk is vital.

Having this arsenal and appreciating the variety of coping techniques I have has made an awesome difference!

I have upgraded from too much alcohol to CBD oil! Naps are not evil or laziness. Review what’s in your arsenal. Life ain’t easy – it never will be. We need to have positive influences, factors that offset the gray days. And one more tip! Celebrate every victory! Every little victory! Love Always, Lynda

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