When we try to walk in the shoes of another, it’s a distraction from our own path.

It doesn’t mean that we don’t have empathy for another’s path.

We’ve all heard, “You won’t understand someone’s trauma and/or life struggles unless you’ve walked in their shoes.” And that is correct. But if we were meant to experience that path, it would have shown up in our life.

I firmly believe we all have our own unique blueprint for life that fits the reason why we came to live here on Earth. We are born with all the raw materials, talents, and abilities to use and finish the race we’ve agreed to run. The problem I see people struggling with over and over again is the distraction that comes from being obsessed with what someone else is going through. We need to have compassion, empathy, be a calming voice of wisdom and love for others.

But first, we have to have those attributes developing inside of us to give.

If we don’t have compassion, empathy, wisdom, and love for ourselves first, then we are only giving our misery to another, compounding and confusing their own situation. It’s often said, “Misery loves company.” No one heals in the midst of misery.

Complaining and gossiping about the decisions other people make in their lives can be a subconscious way of denying our own pain. Even if we feel our heart is right, that it’s filled with the welfare of another—if our own heart is existing in unattended pain, our perception and help will be tainted by that pain. In the end, no one is getting help. No one is getting healed and set free.

When we walk in our own shoes, we are walking in our own truth. Our own beliefs, good or bad, formed out of the events and the meaning of those events in our life. They are ours, not another’s. And inside of us are the reasons and answers to why those events came into our life. They are for us to walk out, learn from, evolve, rise above, and find the strength and truth of who we are and why we are here. No one can walk our path but us. We may find others to join us along the way, who resonate with our path. But each path is uniquely designed for each individual.

Then how do I help or serve others?

This takes awareness of our own soul and heart, which is why I say we must first love ourselves.

Be compassionate to ourselves. Be forgiving, gentle, and kind to ourselves. When we spend time on us and start to understand our path, empathy will be developed for others. When we learn from our mistakes and forgive ourselves, wisdom and patience are developed for others. When we love ourselves even in the worst of times, that love will heal others. Because now our sight has been set on our own path. And the understanding and desire of how to give all that we want to give are found inside our healed heart.

You are the vessel by which Heaven and Earth come together. You are the expression of the creator’s spirit. You came to grow, mature, and evolve.

Walking in our own shoes designed specifically for our journey supports us to receive the creativity, inspiration, insight, and instruction for every situation we encounter. A path supported by the universe with the answers and unfolding knowledge and understanding of who we are.

Peace, joy, and harmony are found walking in our own shoes. They fit us perfectly.