We won’t always have the right words when it counts and we won’t always know what direction to choose, or how we’re going to get there.

But one thing we do always have is choice, and we can either choose safety—reinforcing our doubts and fears—or we can bravely accept that life will only change when we become more committed to our dreams than to our comfort.

Growing up, I had this vision of what I thought my life would look like and while certain parts of it are true—my daughter’s name is not Sara and my son’s not Ben. I don’t own a dog (yet), and I don’t have a husband to come home to, anymore. But I am a mom—a mom who is building a new version of herself, and while most days I hold it together with duct tape and happy thoughts, I’m not afraid to admit that.

I didn’t aspire to be a single mom, but I did aspire to be the best mom that I could be, and that hasn’t changed.

Four years ago, to this very day, my life took an unexpected yet inevitable detour. And although the road has been anything but smooth, I have grown in ways I could only dream of.

It is true what they say—sometimes, bad things do happen to good people, but that doesn’t make us a failure, or unworthy—it makes us human. I am a firm believer that nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to learn, and my biggest, most grateful lesson so far has been learning to acknowledge my own worth when others’ words and actions made me question everything about it.

We can’t force someone to respect us, but we can refuse to tolerate their disrespect.

Life can be hard. Life can be messy—and sometimes it won’t feel fair. But it’s through these times that give our life meaning and purpose.

There is some depth to this surface image that we all create for ourselves.

A detour is not a failure.

Unhealed people often do hurt people. And as much as it hurts to walk away, it hurts more to stay. So don’t be afraid to be held up together with duct tape—be afraid of having none of it at all.

Some things I know for certain are: falling for the wrong person will always teach us the right lessons. Being with someone who tried to change us—we walk away having learned how to love ourselves more. Being with someone who tried to control us—we walk away having learned how to take more control of our own life. Being with someone who cheated us—we walk away having gained more respect for ourselves. Being with someone who abused us in ways we could have never imagined—we walk away with more self-worth than ever before.

A meaningful life is not about being rich, being popular, being highly educated, or being perfect—it is about being real, being humble, and for me, having the courage to share a soft heart in a sometimes cruel world.

Let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words. Choose to move forward, trusting even in the depths of loss that the best is still yet to come.

Whatever makes you feel bad, leave it. Whatever makes you smile, keep it. 

As one door held together by duct tape closes, another one opens. Don’t be afraid if the new door needs to be held up too—you’ll find the pieces fit together a little easier each time.

There is great wisdom in accepting that life is insane. Keep your intentions good and your heart pure, and I promise something great will come of it.

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