In nowadays society, there’s a prevailing concept that how we should look and who we should be. When things are not as we or the society expected, we have to work harder, push harder, do better – even to the point that we sometimes have feelings of guilt when we’re resting.

Recently I got to be in touch with my self-judgement, it’s been there for so long but I wasn’t aware of it. It was a shock that how often I judge myself every single day. It was a lot of sorrow to see how often I tell myself that I am not good enough, not smart enough, not mindful enough, not pretty and skinny enough – it’s just not enough.

Each little thought can be so small that you may not even notice it. It’s the tiny things – like when you go to get dressed and choose an oversized hoodie rather than a tighter top because you want to hide your stomach, when you avoid looking at yourself in the mirror because you don’t like what you see, and when you see a beautiful photo on Instagram and feel awful because you don’t look like the Instagram influencers.

As for me, I have so many moments where I feel guilty that I’m eating too much, or feel bad that even though I’m a yoga teacher, I’m not in the best shape physically. Often, I ask myself how I can be a yoga teacher when I’m so stiff and weak in my body, or I criticize myself for not smiling enough, not choosing my words more carefully, even for having thoughts that aren’t helpful or unwelcome. I judge myself so harshly, then get upset at the fact that I’m angry at myself – and so the cycle goes on. I can’t count how many times in my life I’ve judged myself and told myself that I’m not good enough. When I see my friends being successful in their lives, it often makes me feel that I’m not as smart, hard-working or successful as them.

Follow by self-judgement, there are anger, guilt and sadness inside of me. I hurt ourselves so bad, I put our expectation too high, even no one ask for it. We want things to be good and we want everyone to be good. This is why whenever we made a mistake or when things are not the same as we expect, we tell ourselves, we are not good enough. It totally change the way we feel, how we see ourselves and the way we behave.

However, self-judgement is not necessarily a bad thing, it is there to remind us to accept and respect our true nature and capacity. To forgive ourselves at the same time know that we have done our best already, no matter it’s the most ideal result or not. It is there to remind us to be kind and compassion to ourselves. Only when we know how to be kind to ourselves, we can truly be kind to the others.

The world needs more love and forgiveness, let’s start from within.