*Editor’s Note: Elephant Journal articles represent the personal views of the authors, and can not possibly reflect Elephant Journal as a whole. Disagree with an Op-Ed or opinion? We’re happy to share your experience here.

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The title of this article might make some women’s blood boil. 

So those of you who don’t want to hear it should close the page now. But those of you who at least want to know why, please keep reading.

First of all, the good news, for some of you, is that it does not have to be sex. Technically speaking, a man just needs to have an orgasm three times a week. 

Men who range between the ages of 30 and 50 have a natural, healthy, and constant libido. Some women say they understand what men go through, and while that might be so, most women don’t.

Think about the few seconds a man is going down on you—when you are about to climax. That is a low-grade feeling of what men feel all day long—that need to orgasm.

The problem is, men are always looking. They are always attracted to other women who can help them have an orgasm. There’s this constant drive that distracts them from getting higher education, a better job, and being a better partner. 

It’s not our fault; it is a naturally evolved trait. Right now, our society has told men to just deal with their constant libido, and at the same time, stay monogamous (with someone who will only have sex with them one time a week). It’s an unhealthy solution that has created a society that looks at men’s need to procreate as a shameful burden.

Three times a week—remember that number.

Why three times a week? Let’s say you have sex with your man Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. On Monday night, he gets sex. On Tuesday, his fire has been extinguished for the entire day. He won’t even look at attractive women. He will focus on other parts of his life that allow him to grow. He will come home from work, looking for stimulating conversation and connection, and then he will go to bed.

When he wakes up Wednesday morning, he will most likely have an erection, and his libido will start to increase throughout the day. At work, he will be heading into the “orange zone” (read my other article), but he will be in the green zone for most of the day. By the time he gets home from work, he will be in the red zone, just in time for you to put that fire out and start the cycle over.

This is the secret to fidelity and happy marriage.

Calming the flames of a man’s libido is so important that one Scandinavian town actually legalized massages with happy endings. What happened? The violent crime rate dropped by 80 percent, and infidelity and the divorce rate both dropped over 90 percent.

So you can yell and scream about men needing to “deal with their libidos” while you hold out on the sex, but if you want to make the marriage simple, and have it last long, control the flame that controls your man.