We all know one of them, the woman who seems to be so independent. She seems so able to take care of herself, doesn’t seem to need a man for anything. She spends most of her time single yet surrounded by friends and family.

She is dedicated to her career and hobbies, can change a spark plug or the oil in a car. We all know one. But just because she seems independent on the outside doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to to be in a relationship. The truth of it is that her independence comes at a cost. Doing things herself gives her a sense of empowerment and freedom, however she’s so used to doing things herself that when someone comes to help “lessen the load” – the ego takes control. Rooted in the narrative she is capable of doing things for herself, she pushes away anyone who tries to tell her otherwise or even insinuates it.

In a world which glorifies independence of females in reality some, if not most men can be intimidated by them. Not to mention feeling as though they don’t have a role in that woman’s life. Men feel useful when they are able to provide for their partner and family. Society has been pushing women to be strong, powerful, independent and intelligent. Which is certainly nothing negative, however what this creates is a disconnect between men and women. Men interested in these women become confused and therefore it is more difficult for these women to find or keep a mate, and even if they are successful, sometimes they will reject him/her for the purposes of preserving that status of independence.

The independent woman is wise beyond her years and she can smell bull S*** from a mile away. She doesn’t believe the stories people tell and questions everything. Not that she is stuck up or hardened, but simply that she is not naive or easy to manipulate. She values her time and will not spend it on people who are only interested in their own motives. She knows when to speak and when to listen, when to call peoples bluff and when to fold.

These women are usually (not always) the ones who have endured struggle in life. They adapted to their environments, didn’t really have things handed to them. Sometimes they come from single mother upbringings watching their mothers seem to “do it all”  fulfilling both roles and thus they felt it only natural to do the same. An independent woman seems to be an adaptive behaviour which is learned and appears as somewhat of a coping mechanism for a society where marriages are on the decline and divorces are on the rise. A world where online dating and access to sexual pleasure comes served as quick as a cheeseburger at a drive-thru window. Where chivalry is nearly dead and majority of the men who practice it are giving it away like its a free sample at a grocery store.

So the independent woman became her own knight in shining armour or rather a queen, who will remain independent for the rest of her life and wait for a king who can stand beside her.