Barely three months to go before the year ends. Can you still remember the dreams and plans you have with the start of the year? Do you have unanswered prayers? Do you feel stuck? Do you feel as if nothing is happening in your life right now? These are the things that the devil will prowl in your mind. It’s as if you’re good for nothing.

Just today I have a lot of emotions running through my mind and my heart that’s robbing my peace, my faith, my hope and my strength. There are doubts again. The feeling of being alone, unloved and unworthy keeps haunting me. And I have a lot of questions to God. I wanted to cry and shout. Why do these things need to happen to me over and over again. When I thought I’m already anchoring myself to Him, it seems like I’m drifting away. When I thought I’m strong enough with His love that no amount of lies from the devil can stop me from believing in Him, here I am questioning God again.

But God, I know these things are not meant to punish me, disgrace and belittle me. These doesn’t gauge the love You have for me. These are meant to sharpen and mold me. To stand on my own but still asking You to be the ruler of my life. To not follow my emotions and live with it but to listen to Your words and voice. To not let vulnerability be the weapon of the devil to attack me but instead use this as a weapon to be vulnerable in Your name.

I’m sorry Lord if there are times like these in my life. I know I’m not strong without Your strength. There’s no peace without Your grace. There’s no love without Your mercy. Help me Lord to always remind myself that my battle belongs to You, I don’t need to pretend I’m strong enough to fight it. I need You always and in all ways. Remove the ego, pride and selfishness in me, Lord. Stripped my heart until it only looks for You and long for Your name. To always carry the promises You’ve given and to always believe in Your faithfulness. Let me stand in Your love, oh God that nothing can separate me from You.