The most excruciating loneliness and love draught may lead to painful love choices.
Just because you’re single and all alone during this time, doesn’t mean that dating during Covid19 must cost your sanity. Here are three important reminders to ensure you do not give up on love and stay sane when dating during the global pandemic.
Don’t make rushed decisions
You’ve met this amazing guy online. You’ve been talking to him for days, weeks and now even months. You know everything about each other. You wake up to sweet ‘good morning’ texts and you can’t wait to hear his voice again.
You’re finally meeting him after the most nerve-wracking and exciting anticipation. You end up having sex.
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I’m not here to steal your orgasms or your one-night stands. However, it’s not just sex. You tend to develop strong feelings after sleeping with him. Your judgement becomes clouded.
You’ve been in this situation before. Your previous relationship ended, because you realized that the sexual connection was the only thing that was keeping the relationship going.
One of the most amazing things about the global pandemic is that it gave us all a great opportunity to slow down. We had a chance to have a better look at what truly matters. If you’re looking for a significant other, a life partner and not just a hookup, why not take a step back.
Don’t make rushed decisions. Remember what truly matters to you. Don’t let loneliness drive you into a relationship that goes nowhere if that’s not what you’re looking for.
Don’t let rejection defeat you
All is going well. You spend hours on the phone, dates are fun, and conversations are effortless.
Then suddenly it all changes. He doesn’t follow up as he used to. He’s busy at work. You don’t want to get all paranoid, but something just doesn’t feel right. Finally, after not responding to your texts for a couple of days he comes back to tell you that the spark is not there. Perhaps, he’s back with his ex. Or even better, he ghosts you without giving an explanation.
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I’m not here to tell you rejection doesn’t hurt. It does. But you can decide how you’re going to process it.
You can feel sorry for yourself. You can get into the negative spiral thinking of every other guy that’s ever done this to you. You can start making up horror stories about how you’re destined to be alone and how you’re going to be eaten alive by rats when you’re old and lonely because no one’s going to miss you.
Or you can look at it from a perspective that will help you maintain your sanity.
Get a good old piece of paper and a pen. Write everything that makes you a great catch and everything that makes you feel proud of yourself. If you can’t think of anything call a friend who can remind you how amazing you’re.
When someone rejects you, it has nothing to do with your value. Just because someone says no to you, it doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough, that you are not smart enough, not beautiful enough or not amazing enough. You’ve got this.
Don’t get swallowed by a dark dating hole
You may be reading this and thinking that you’ve spent days and weeks chatting to your matches online, you even had a couple of virtual dates, but you’re not even close to meeting someone you’re interested in. It all seems pointless. Perhaps, you’re just meant to be alone.
Firstly, there’s nothing wrong about being alone. Secondly, give yourself a massive pat on the back for not giving up on love and trying to meet someone. However, it’s important to make sure you’re not in a dating rut.
Finish this sentence
Dating is ________.
What’s the first thing that comes to your head? If you’re reading this, I’m going to make a guess that your answer is not ‘dating is fun’.
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I remember spending hours and hours on dating apps and feeling I’m not getting anywhere. Same boring conversations and faces that end up blending into something too familiar. Dating may feel so tiring and tedious. You turn into your trusted ice cream and another marathon of Sex and The City.
What if you’re just one match and one date away from someone you truly would love to meet. If you feel that you’ve had enough it’s not the worst idea to have a little break and focus on other things in your life. Read that book, start that blog, master an apple pie.
However, sometimes all you need is just a fresh perspective. Stop looking at every online dating match as another boring face with no soul. Bring fun into dating by swiping less and connecting more. Most of us are quite clueless about what we’re doing here. Most of us are quite confused, but the real human connection is something that most of us crave.
Not sure if you should be dating during this time?
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