I have always been running after true love, but to be honest, for the longest time, I wasn’t sure if I even loved anyone.

It was much later in life that I realized I didn’t love myself, so it was not possible to love another truly and completely.

I also never had that feeling that I would die if someone left me, that they would take my breath away with them. I really wondered about that and thought I was incapable of love in the true sense.

I don’t think I have ever spoken about this to any human on this planet and yet, here I am sharing this with you. I wanted to experience that feeling of all-encompassing, earth-shattering love, which again, I wasn’t even sure was true love or not.

Maybe it felt different? Would it feel light or heavy? Like fluttering butterflies? Or, would I hear violins?

Also, I didn’t see much proof around me, and everyone just kept telling me that love does not exist. Despite this, I decided to let myself manifest true love in my life.

Be careful of what you wish for or try to manifest. Trust me. It turned my life upside down and completely changed me as a person.

Here are three wonderful things I realized on this journey of finding true love:

 1. There is no true love without self-love.

The moment I started on this journey, all the blocks to my self-love started dissolving. I clearly started seeing them and understood that I couldn’t love anyone because my heart chakra was blocked.

My heart chakra did open, and I learned that when you open your heart, all kinds of love comes pouring into your life. You make heart-based decisions, and overall, your life becomes better and sweeter in every sense of the way. I am not talking about the spa-going, dressing well, and maintaining your figure kind of self-love, though those things are also great. I am talking about total acceptance, understanding, and loving your life experiences and lessons and all your mistakes—and forgiving yourself always. Always treating yourself like you would want the other person to treat you.

2. You have to do what you love.

The biggest lack of love comes from not following your calling, whatever it is. You have to find yourself and ask yourself why you were born on this already crowded planet. Find your life purpose. If you don’t find the time to understand yourself and find what you love doing, whether you do it full-time or part-time, for money or not, your heart will be devoid of this feeling of contentment.

Try finding love with this feeling of massive discontent in your heart. Find yourself before you venture out to find another person who is also mostly lost, as like attracts like.

3. Don’t listen to other people—and believe in love.

So people might hurt you—let them. Believe in love; surrender to this process of finding it. Be stupid; be foolish—life is short. Do not stop believing in it for a minute.

Most people live in their own prison of beliefs and judgements; it is a sad truth. If they can’t do it, how can you? But just because they haven’t known love does not mean it does not exist. Don’t settle. They have a saying in the Hindi language, which translates to that if you go searching for God, you can find him also. So go for it if you wish for it.

In this whole process of trying to find true love, I found self-love. And when you truly love yourself, it starts flowing out of you and reaches every corner of your life.

I completely understood myself and what makes me happy. I was able to change my life direction away from social norms toward happiness, fulfillment, and contentment. I am giving and receiving a lot of love these days—not necessarily from one person. I still believe in love wholeheartedly, but I am not seeking it anymore.

As Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

All in all, I am glad I went on this chase, and would highly recommend it. I wish you lots of love if you are on this journey of love.

“In the end, all that really matters is love.” ~ Catie Hartsfield

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