We need to bring the light into the shadows. When we give it the attention it needs, the unfolding of integration will naturally emerge. In the shadow, we can find things we never knew. Aspects of ourselves that we chose to hide. Emotions, sensations, and truths that we were unable to access before. The shadows aren’t as dark as I thought to be. The more I unravel. The more I understand. And the more compassionate I become. No longer driven by fear and the desire of always wanting to be more and have more.
I am uncovering the loss that I found again. All I have to do is be with what is. It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? And still, it can be so hard. I spend most of my life escaping what is, clinging onto the nostalgia of the past or running into the future’s idealistic potentials captured by the fantasies of what was and what can be. Maybe that is the most incredible gift writing has given me. Without knowing it beforehand, I learned to be with what is. I learned to stop changing how I feel and express the sorrows I was too afraid to face. I discovered I am not a bad person, even if I hurt others in the past. I can give myself the compassion I need to move past the sorrow, to end it, only not through force. The cessation of suffering naturally emerges in the moment when we choose to be with it. No matter how long it takes. No matter how deep it takes us. No matter how much it hurts. We can only do this when we realize that the clinging and escapism perpetuate the suffering.
There is no tool, no method, or process that can teach you this. Only your awareness can guide you towards this truth and bring you in touch with the emotional intelligence that will guide you through it. My words can guide you closer to it, but I cannot take you there. There are things in life that we need to experience for ourselves. I cannot tell you what love is, but I can tell you what it is not. I cannot make you understand what heartbreak is until you have felt it. I cannot teach you what it is to completely be with what is. It is not distracting, hiding, running, clinging, or escaping. Love is not fear. And compassion is not wanting something or someone to change. All your attention, awareness, and energy is required to be with what is.
Unconditional presence is something we moved so far away from. We have been conditioned out of it. Let me tell you one thing, it is not your fault. We live in a crazy wicked world that fails to teach us what is most important. It fails to value what brings us in touch with life. It fails to teach us how to deal with the inevitable endings in life. It fuels the fears that prevent us from loving. We live in a world that invests greatly in avoiding and escaping fear without ever solving it. The solution resides within the roots, not in the branches. When you go into the causation of what causes you pain, you set yourself free. You end the fear that controlled you so you can love again.
When we have compassion for the messiness we are in, passion will come out of it. And this passion will fuel action. This type of activity is not driven by fear. It doesn’t push or move against something. Movement driven by love is one of the most powerful things in the world. It is the power of creation in motion. And it is the medicine that can end the constant internal and external destruction. It is not fueled by thought. It is pure awareness in action. Only that can create what felt impossible before.
This passion will give your life real meaning. Not the false sense of importance that fear creates so the pain we live with becomes a little bit more bearable. It is the real meaning you feel when you touch someone you love. When you look at the sunset or see a beautiful bird flying by. For a moment, it enchants you. Like it is all there is. No thoughts run through your mind. For a moment, you are with what is entirely, wholly without a thought entering your mind. That is the real meaning, not created by thought, not by you. It is created by life. It emerges in the presence of love. Where fear ceases to exist. There is no time, no beginning, no end. Suddenly you are a part of life, and you are life itself. You are with what is, and so the separation that previously imprisoned you ceases to be. Now you are free.
Today we live between,
the shadow,
and light.
When light enters the darkness,
Integration will take place.
The shadows of yesterday,
will become the light of tomorrow.
The shadows may haunt you,
While the light may blind you.
You cannot escape duality,
Without getting lost on the way.
Harmony is only found,
in the present day.
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