I never got a chance to tell you that

I picked you to be my therapist because of your smile.

And that each time you casted it my way, you filled one BB-size hole in the heart of my five-year-old self.

I never got a chance to tell you that

I stored all your words in my mind so I could replay them tomorrow and the next.

I never got a chance to tell you my story because I didn’t want you to know.

I chose to remain silent.

When I finally tried to tell you, you told me that you couldn’t read my mind.

Your words stung and still do.

You told me our work was done.

You told me this was your choice.

I never got a chance to tell you, but you hurt me.

I never got a chance to tell you that I didn’t agree with my treatment.

I never got a chance to tell you because you never gave me a chance.

I never got to tell you because I never was allowed to sit at your level.

You’re a doctor after all, and I’m just a client.

I never got a chance to tell you how I felt.

I never got a chance to tell you how much it’s hurt me to be dropped.

I’ve never gotten a chance to tell you this.

I’ve never got a chance to tell you because you never gave me a chance.

Maybe one day you’ll read this.

I hope one day that you will.

I may never get a chance to tell you, but I loved you very much and still do.

~