Loss & Pain: Universal Phenomenon

The loss of the self, the loss of a parent or loved one, the loss of youth, the loss of a pet, the loss of an organ or the loss of the physical self through death. Every single one of us will experience loss which is a universal phenomenon and connects every human being despite our individuality and differences.

Some may cope with the pain of loss through intoxicating behaviours such as drugs, alcohol, pharmaceutical medication, unhealthy food, toxic and abusive behaviours /relationships, all in the hope and effort to numb the unbearable pain of loss.

If loss could be described as an object, it would be a glass fish bowl smashed  in the centre of the room with the fish trying to survive with the limited water that surrounds the fish. The fish without the bowl is a mental representation of the mind of the human that suffers loss. The fish is no longer sheltered by what kept them safe or alive. The lack of water could also lead to the death of the fish.

Sometimes the unbearable pain of loss that we experience as human beings can be associated with the feeling of death, we start to breath shallow and less frequent, loosing all connection to our body because the body is consumed by the pain of loss.

Despite the smashed glass bowl, the fish can be saved, it can be placed in a cup of water where it will continue to survive maybe not as optimally as in the beautiful glass bowl but it will survive. The human mind also has the capacity and resilience to survive through the pain resulting from loss.

If all we can do is just survive through the pain, and accept this is as good enough rather than punishing ourselves for the unbearable feelings associated with the pain of loss. Then maybe after some time we start to move to an authentic place of grieving through the loss and after more time we can then start to process the loss and the difficult feelings associated with loss such as anger, sadness, disappointment and rage and maybe after more time we can start to find peace within ourselves to cope with loss without harming ourselves and finally we may move into a stage of acceptance and start to thrive remembering that Love Never Ends .

Perhaps we can start to live life from a non-attachment stance knowing that loss is inevitable but the experience of attachment and love in always possible.

May you feel your loss and cry your pain away xxxx