We all know the Duchess of Sussex.

We remember when she and Prince Harry chose to take a step back from the royal family.

We have probably read about events she’s been to, seen outfits she’s worn (and the critiques that have followed), and some of us have probably even felt a slight twinge of envy run through us as she “stole” our Princess Diaries moment.

What we likely forget, as we tend to do with celebrities and other household names, is that she is human. Crazy, right?

In her NY Times article “The Losses we Share,” she reminds us of this truth—that even she is someone who has to, “Make breakfast. Feed the dogs. Take vitamins. Find that missing sock. Pick up the rogue crayon that rolled under the table. Throw my hair in a ponytail before getting my son from his crib.”

She reminds us that she is a woman—a woman who feels; a woman who miscarries.

She broke my heart and also earned a massive amount of respect from me as she vulnerably described the scenario:

“After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right. I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.”

I’ve often felt like those types of situations are nearly impossible to find the “right” words for. Nothing I say or anyone says can change anything, right?

Well, again, she brought some wisdom to the proverbial table when she followed up the story with an account of how a random journalist did make a difference.

It was three words: “Are you okay?”

Boom. Simple yet hugely important (and overlooked).

“Are we? This year has brought so many of us to our breaking points. Loss and pain have plagued every one of us in 2020, in moments both fraught and debilitating.” ~ Meghan Markle

I don’t want to give too much of the article away, but I want to leave you with some thoughts. 

Even the ones we don’t think are hurting (or can’t imagine how they ever would) might, in fact, be hurting. This year—this life—has taken its toll on us all. We’re all going through it; we’re all humans at the end of the day.

And maybe a simple question comprised of three little words can make all the difference in our healing.