Rumination is such a big and expansive word. And not one that’s easily deciphered or described. It is a thought process. Etymologically, it indicates meditation and contemplation or musing over something or chewing the cud as some linguists and etymologists have suggested.

Having ruminated about narcissism in its various complex forms that at times looks like a Rorschach test, it can be depicted as an abuse of both self and others. It can get confusing and complicated.  Friends, family, lover, people who we have bonds with some of which may be narcissistic bonds, self-affirmation I suppose and can be flipped and become distant, devaluing, and discarding.

The red flags are often the speed at which this occurs with bonding being within a few weeks and months. That scorn of the devalue, and discard cycle fucks with your head. You move from feeling loved and valued to being absolutely despised in a matter of seconds. So, it is understandable that we search for clarity and understanding through these confusing relationship dynamics. It’s powerful, and it can happen to any one of us. It appears to have happened to a large portion of this nation. And that speaks volumes about its potency. It’s easier to become a true believer. Believing in someone who touches upon our deepest insecurities and darkest thoughts and in the process conforms our baseless fears.

People affect other people with their energy. When we are in harmony with the realities of our own lives, we function in harmony. When we are in the dark, we see darkness………..in the light, we see energy. We connect. We understand that when one acts unethically it affects everyone and everything by that very negativity. Modern practitioners try to solve the narcissistic puzzle…. but we soon learn that there isn’t any solution. We…the not so powerful “we”…You hurt me, not just emotionally, you hurt me spiritually…you stomped on my heart, you took all I had to offer and ripped out a part of my soul at lightning speed. You seem to have forgotten that everything you have said or done I have seen before, in another lifetime.

So my inner voice says – be wary of falling for tricks or traps. As you are a member of the not so powerful “we”. Your very own emotional fallout can be severe…leaving you with scars that do not heal very quickly.

Our weaknesses can be quite visible and malleable and easily exploited by those who daily existence is focused on such weaknesses in others.

The answers may be found in self-awareness. To strike back at those who do us injustice becomes a weight on our soul, our everyday life that transcends the courts of justice and greed.

Revenge and vengeance? They can be traced to the ancient writings in all cultures. Some cultures take it upon themselves collectively to consider the remedy for the mistakes committed within their family. What is to be learned?

Revenge is a dish best served cold……….