My Dear Daughter

My phone alarm went off. It is 5 AM in the morning, time to get up and get ready for the sunrise at Airport Mesa Vortex. I opened the door, the darkness, and chilly air hitting me in my face. The birds are quiet, maybe they are waiting for dawn to break in before they start their sweet singing. I got my tooth brush and went across the lawn with the help of torch light to freshen up and put my makeup on. We took turns in the bathroom and got ready. We were ready for a new adventure with excitement.  

Eventually, things started to be visible to our naked eyes. The  morning dew is still glistering on the leaves. The air is cool, the morning haze is still there. The lodge is very quiet.  We picked our backpack and got in the car. We headed out to experience the sunrise. Sunrise is always beautiful. The view of sunrise at Airport Mesa is one of the most highly recommended sights in Sedona. 

We knew about the Airport Mesa vortex  from yesterday’s visit. The parking space is very limited. When we got there, the parking lot was already full. Only spot open was a handicapped spot, next to the ISKCON devotee selling spiritual enlightening merchandise. We had a feeling it would be okay to park there. Then we headed up to the top of the mountain. It didn’t take us long to get to the top. A large number of people were already there waiting for the sun to rise. Some of them were meditating and others were trying to keep a hush tone to their conversation. They were being respectful to others and letting everybody enjoy their new day and new beginning. 

We settled into a good spot and made ourselves comfortable to welcome the sun. Gradually, our surroundings began to become more visible. The shadow of the Red Rock Mountain could be outlined now. The morning haze has covered the city making it feel almost like underneath the cloud. Looking down at the city from the top of the mountain felt like we were floating on the cloud. The air was cooler. The cool breeze would swipe up the environment giving a shudder and then give enough time to recover from it until another round would hit us. It was pleasantly cold, but a thin jacket would be sufficient. The environment was very conducive for meditation. 

I felt like meditating too. I closed my eyes and started to focus on my breathing. I could hear people’s muted voices, the sweeping of the air and occasional footsteps and bustling of people trying to settle in. The sun is about to come on top of the mountains that we were facing and waiting impatiently. Somewhere from the far away very soft, healing, soothing flute started to play. It was very melodious and in sync with the rhythm of the rising sun. It blended in so well. The sound was in perfect harmony with the rising sun and occasional sweeping of the air. It was in total syncrosity. I was carried by the softness, the melody, and the rhythm that was getting dispersed in the mountain air.  

Gradually, the whole sky was covered with orange glow. Within a few seconds, the sun started to climb up the mountain. At first just a little peek and then gradually, the twirling of the light expanded. People clapped and cheered. I watched the sunrise. The orange glow gradually turns into yellow, then into lighter yellow. The faces of the gatherers were lit up with a golden hue, making them extra beautiful and peaceful. I took some videos and then I decided to sit down for more meditation. We had no time limits and deadlines to meet. We had no need to rush for anything. We could do just what we felt like. It was such a precious hour, so beautiful and peaceful, I felt like closing my eyes and holding on to this forever.

As always, I started by listening to all the noises around. My eyes were closed but I could hear people starting to leave the area. Their happy, cheerful laughter was starting to fade away. I stayed with my eyes closed and it started to get quieter and quieter. I was consciously watching my breath. Then suddenly a feeling of thankfulness swept over me, like the breeze that’d been sweeping all morning. This feeling of gratitude had been overwhelmingly present in this Sedona trip. I prayed for guidance for my family and fulfillment of their wishes.

I was still fully aware and had been sitting down in a meditation pose. My legs and body started to feel heavy. I gently laid down on the rock in “Shavasana,”the corpse pose, a very common relaxation and resting pose in yoga and meditation. My eyes were still closed. I could feel the breeze, I could feel the hardness of the floor, the cold touch and roughness of the stone. I could feel my body. I could feel my breaths gradually rising up and down. For a short instance, my desire to feel the universe came in my mind. 

Throughout this trip, my inner desire has been to feel the presence of the universe. Suddenly, this desire seemed so erroneous. I started to apologize and asked for forgiveness internally.  Then suddenly, I had a knowing of the presence. Then my conscience told me that it has always been present. It has touched my life in so many ways. From deep inside, the feeling of remorse engulfed me. This knowing brought tears to my eyes. I started to cry.

The feeling of repentance for doubting the universe totally took over me. I felt how wrong to be questioning the presence of the universe? Who am I to question and demand the presence? Tears started to roll down my eyes. This feeling of regret became unbearable. The rolling of quiet tears turned into sobbing. I was aware of my surroundings. I could hear the wind but no other sounds. Why was I skeptical about it? This mistrust of mine made me feel fevered.  My sobbing turned into a wail. I knew I was crying, but I couldn’t stop it. It felt so overwhelmingly heavy in my heart. I was aware of my surroundings and conscious of my actions. I just could neither stop the feeling nor the crying. I have no recollection of how long I stayed there with my sorrow.  

Then, I heard a voice saying “Let me help you” and someone called, “Whitney, come here, help me”. She was holding my feet, as obviously, I was shaking. I heard a second voice close to my ears, chanting some positive affirmations. Then came out a beautiful healing, soft singing in the air. It was soothing, rhythmatic, and constant. It sounded like the flute that was played earlier. Occasionally, the singing got carried away by the wind. But, I was right there with them, hearing it, taking it in, asking for forgiveness all along. I could feel the breeze on my face and hands. I don’t remember any other noise except the sweet soothing voice guiding me though some affirmations. She is touching my forehead and saying affirmations and encouraging me to let it go. The sound of the flute, the soothing voice guiding me through the process and directing me to release, gradually appease me. 

Later, I found out it was not the flute but toning. Toning, per the Google definition, is a use of voice to harmonize and balance your cells and energetic pathways. The combination of toning and affirmation bathed me in that mountain top. It soothed me and guided me, encouraging me to release and be free. I remember, at one point I said sorry again out loud. I have no words to describe the feeling. I have no recollection how long it took. But I remember all my efforts and desire to release the knot from my heart. I distinctly remember asking for this experience all along and was granted to me on top of the Airport Mesa Vortex. The understanding of lifeforce was given to me. 

I was amazed and moved by the experience. Above all, I was moved by the presence of those two amazing souls, who guided me through the process. They were both energy healers from Maryland, who happened to be at Airport Mesa vortex that morning to guide me and heal me. They were tourists like me, visiting Sedona for the first time. They were there on a retreat. They loved to watch the sunrise on the Airport Mesa Vortex. Is this a coincidence or planned programming? I want to believe it was all planned for me. It has to be orchestrated, synthesized programming for them to be hanging around even after the sunrise, and for Carrie to perform her first toning in public.

It didn’t take me long to bounce back to our normal rhythm. After some photos and video shoots and meditation, we were ready to proceed with our day. We had Boynton Canyon Vortex on our list that day. While driving to the vortex, all I could do was keep thanking the universe for this experience. I am totally aware of the whole process, except for keeping up with the time. It is 11:15 in the morning and we are on the top of the Boynton Canyon Vortex. 

The red rocks are lined up in all different shapes and sizes in front of me. There is a gorgeous valley underneath managing the air flow keeping seekers cool and comfortable. The view is magnificent. There are more children here than any of the other Vortexes. 

We found a perfect little place to lay out on the top of rock on the less populated side, facing the valley with the beautiful view. Both of us sat down to meditate. I could hear the children asking all kinds of questions to their parents.The skid noise of them scurrying down the red mountain was so loud and the laughter that air carried away to those mountains was precious. With all these noises around me, I sat down with my eyes closed.  

As soon as I closed my eyes, I thought about my ancestors. I have been told twice in my lifetime by total strangers to “do ancestors healing,” but I had never looked into it. At the top of Boynton Canyon vortex, all that would come to my mind were my ancestors. I thanked them and prayed for them to guide me. I thought about my mother, four years ago, we went to visit her for the last time. I had known all along, that was going to be our last visit. I was guided to plan the trip accordingly, which would give me a few extra days with her. I thanked her for all her hard work in raising me and making me what I am today. I thought about all my extended families that had passed away. And wished for my living family to be able to align their wishes and desires with the law of the universe. 

I’m still sitting down in the shade of a big rock with the magnificent few of the valley. The breeze is still blowing, sweeping my hair, and giving me chills to the core. My clothes are all wet with  sweat. The cooler breeze easily can make me shudder. I can still hear the children. Suddenly, I felt light like a balloon. I felt with each passing of the sweep of the air, I was floating up in the air and looking down. I concluded in my mind that I must be a tied down balloon — that is floating up in the air but attached to the world. It felt amazing. It felt weightless. It was such a pleasant feeling that I didn’t want to move. But Bunu Didi had an idea of venturing out. So, she was ready to move onto our next destination. 

The Grand Canyon is only two hours away from Sedona. We formulated a plan to drive to The Grand Canyon and watch the sunset and cut the birthday cake. What can be more special than that? We were free birds. We came up with an instant plan and were already headed that way. But as we approached the second traffic light, we changed our mind. Instead, we headed to the lodge to get some rest and cut the birthday cake. 

It has been an amazing day for me. The early rise, the heat, the contemplation, the gratitude, it has made me tired. I didn’t realize, but I was ready to rest. As we got to the lodge, we took a power nap, showered, got ready and cut the birthday cake. Then we headed to Airport Mesa Vortex to watch the sunset. 

We had started the day on the same mountain at the same spot with the rising of the sun. Now, at the end of the day, we are facing the sun again, disappearing into the horizon. The sun has fulfilled its mission for the day and is ready to rest for the night. We are in this world to fulfill our missions. How many of us align our thoughts this way? It’s a question each of us needs to be asking ourselves. This is a thought, we don’t ponder early enough in our life to act upon. 

The sun looked like a mixture of gold and orange, soft, warm ball. I could see the rays radiating all around it. The warmth, the air, the soft evening glow illuminated the surrounding making it  mystical. The trees and the mountains glowed in the evening rays. We had gotten the best spot to watch the disappearing sun. The air was cooler, the surroundings had a golden dusky hue to it. There were big groups of people gathered to bathe in the evening rays of the sun. I felt so immersed in it. It was so beautiful. Everybody was awed with the beauty. It was very quiet on top of the mountain. Nobody had words or needed to say anything. 

We watched, prayed and meditated until the sun disappeared into the horizon. It was amazingly beautiful and peaceful. I prayed for my family and myself again. I wanted to hold on to that warmth and color of the evening. We couldn’t make ourselves leave. We stayed there at the same place for hours afterwards. Interestingly, after the sunset, Sedona started to glow in its evering lights. The view of Sedona at night from top of the redrock is so peaceful and beautiful. 

We got back to the cottage late at night and sat right under the open sky. The place had such a majestic beauty to it. I thanked the universe for helping me to pick the right place. We spent hours outside. And on a clear night like that, the Milky Way Galaxy was visible to our naked eyes. Sitting right underneath the Milky Way, it felt like blessings were pouring down on me. It felt amazing.   

Today is the last day in Sedona for us. We took our time in the morning. We had planned to leave the place early and spend some time in downtown Phoenix, but the surprises were not finished for us. As I was getting my morning coffee in the main house, I saw this beautiful young lady playing with tarot cards. I casually asked her to read my cards. And she agreed to it.  

I had no knowledge of card readings. I neither had an experience nor seen cards read before.  Of course, I had read about card readings in books with fascination. We were in the living room of the main house. We all were sitting on the floor around a stone built, heavy set tea table. I was sitting opposite of Alicia. She is a beautiful young lady, younger than me with extensive experience in reading cards. She is highly educated with multiple degrees and used to work in the corporate world. Now, she has her own business. She had her crystals spread around and her own set of oracle cards. I sat in front of her with my camera, ready to capture each and every second of the reading. 

Alicia started picking cards for my sister-in-law. The sun was peeking through the window, making the room warm and cozy. The rays were hitting her light colored silky straight hair and her face giving the golden glow. She started reading with casual conversation. Then gradually, closed her eyes. Next few minutes, she looked like she was in a trance – talking very fast with hand gestures and body movement. I was watching her through my camera. It felt like she was channeling. It felt that information was coming to her in a constant flow and so fast that she was having hard to keep up with. Her whole body was in synchronicity — the eyes, the head, the hands, they all moved in perfect rhythm with every word that was coming out of her mouth in a consistent way. The words that were coming out were so powerful and were describing my sister in law accurately. Bunu Didi was listening so intently, tears rolling down her eyes. I was just mesmerized and wordless. She picked several cards for her, each with accuracy and in total unanimity with my sister in law. I watched her in awe.

I was content with that reading. I hadn’t expected her to read mine. Then she picks three cards for me. Those three cards described me correctly. It portrayed my personality and explained me why and how I know things. Because, most of the time I have this inner knowing and I just follow them. If I listened to my instinct, things do turn out fine, like for most of us.  Alicia was not telling me my future, but she was describing my present which would guide me in future. It is hard to explain this concept to others. But for me, after her card reading, I knew exactly who and what I am. What’s my purpose in this world and actions that I need to follow in the future. It was an amazing feeling. 

This completed my curiosity about myself. It gave me such a sense of knowing and confidence, it felt like a burden has been lifted from my shoulder. The reading brought completeness to my visit. Once we walked out of that room, I knew exactly how I should approach the rest of my life. What is my purpose and how do I go about it? I can tell with confidence this trip brought a shift in me. All the experiences and contemplation that I went through on these few days has opened me up for more miracles and unexpected fulfillments.  

We had been on a crystal hunt all along the trip. Bunu Didi wanted some crystals from Sedona, Arizona. We had been to two crystal stores so far without any satisfying results. Neither of those places clicked with her. On the other hand, I was looking for pop up tent stores, where locals bring their stuff to sale in the town. Everytime we go on trips, we always find places where locals would bring their merchandise for a sale. I wanted to find that kind of place to buy crystals. I was on the lookout for that. But we had not been successful. Eventually, we gave up and were excited to catch highway 17 to go to Phoenix, where we were going to eat lunch and see the downtown. Bunu Didi had a flight to catch that night. 

As we were exiting Sedona, right before the last roundabout, I saw some popup white tents. It was in a big parking lot, I asked her to pull into it. Once we got parked and looked around, they were the kind of place that I had been looking for all along. There were several locals with crystals booths. Bunu Didi was so excited. It was fun to watch her jumping from one table to the next like a little child in a candy store. She had found her crystals and she bought them to her heart’s content.  

We were loading our shopping into the car, and suddenly, Bunu Didi complained of being starving. Now? I thought we were going to eat at Phoenix. Well, I look around the parking lot and there is the same Thai restaurant that we had eaten on our first evening while entering Sedona. I had no clue we had made a big circle and were taken to the same parking lot that we had parked the first night we entered the city. It felt so mystical to me. 

Now, I’m on the flight back to Charlotte, returning to my sweet home. I know that the question, “How was the trip?” would be the first thing asked of me. I am trying to formulate my answers. The Sedona trip has been more unique than all the trips I had taken in my life. It was very fulfilling and full of guidance for me. I reflected and contemplated a lot on my life. I had experiences that I had never had before. I have come with a new perspective to life. My desires were fulfilled one after another. The questions that I was asking myself were answered for me. This trip brought a shift in my life that made me look at life in a new way. The experiences on each vortex were very unique but they all tied together, as we all tie together in life and beyond. Looking back, it was the continuation of my being. I need to keep working on staying in the present and shining my light. These experiences have taught me to stay grounded and keep working with the knowledge I have about life. Thank you Universe. 

With lots of love,

Mamu