I’ve been thinking a lot lately on what it means to be strong. Not in the physical sense, but mentally, and emotionally. The past couple years, and this year especially, I have been through some trying times; times that have definitely tested my willpower, my sanity, my trust in others and, most devastatingly, my faith in myself.

But one thing remains the same in all these unpleasant circumstances; I’ve bounced back. Every time, without fail, despite the hurt, the confusion, the betrayals, I’ve picked myself up again and again. Surprisingly, each time, the recovery has gotten a bit easier. So much so that it’s almost a relief when things don’t go as planned, or even more so, when they go horribly, terribly wrong. 

You see, I’ve learned along my path that whenever a particular moment in time comes to an end, whenever a door closes, whenever someone leaves unexpectedly or whenever I feel my life has shattered into a million tiny pieces, it simply means that was not the place I was supposed to be. 

These instants are when it is not only okay, but vital to be nice to yourself. Do not entertain negative thoughts or people. Take a step back, reinforce your strongholds, boost your mental fortitude, and be bold in the next decisions you make for your future. Realize there are other ways to achieve your pursuits that are more aligned to your true self.

Unfortunately, sometimes it takes your world to crash around your feet to really wake you up to the reality that you were meant to be living a different life than the one you veered off course to pursue. We’re often blinded by things like money, love, false pretenses, questionable intentions and influential people, so much so that we forget our true purpose, and instead follow the shiny and new, or the seemingly safe and stable. It can be mesmerizing, fantastical and almost too good to be true. Sometimes it’s not. Most times, it is.

Looking back, there have been many times I felt a pull in my gut trying to warn me of my missteps. I won’t call them mistakes. Wherever you wander is never wrong, and every experience will teach you something even if it isn’t the best for you at that time. But if you pay attention, really pay attention, you’ll be able to feel when you’ve diverted. 

Perhaps you needed the diversion. Perhaps it isn’t you doing the choosing, and a life event has taken control. It’s okay to be off course for a bit; to float without purpose. Maybe you just needed to have some fun. We all deserve a break sometimes.  For a lucky few, that alternate road is simply a detour that will eventually lead you right where you need to be; a layover in reality, so to speak. When you find that, embrace it, swim in it for a while, and try it on, but never settle in it if it doesn’t feel right for you.

Some learning seasons are longer than others, but if you’re in tune with your truth, you’ll begin to grasp the lesson, and to see the signs that it’s time to move on to your higher purpose, your true calling. This will be that moment you know you need to let go of the pieces and people that no longer belong in the future picture of yourself. Every ending is a chance at a new beginning, but you have to take the leap, and know when to pivot.

Always be ready for someday to be today; for that moment you were waiting for to be this very moment, and seize it. Do not waiver, and if you fall, and you will, fall gracefully. The best part about falling is the opportunity to show the world you can get back up, stronger and happier for the fall. 

It is important, even in our darkest times, to be brave, be truthful, be humble, be compassionate and, above all, never stop loving yourself. If you learn to cultivate your strength and resilience in these trying times, eventually future trials and tribulations will be easier to overcome. 

In the end, you are all you have. Be the best, strongest you you can be.