Create enough ‘Head-space’ to listen to your own voice and needs.

Stop subjugating your own needs for those of others and stop accepting another’s moodiness as a point for appeasement or the making better of. This is codependency in action.

It happens so subtly and so incidiously that we sometimes don’t even catch it. It is born out of our trigger response relex, what is that you may ask! That is the mind looping pattern we adopt in childhood to please or appease our significant others. We become master pleasers in order to get our needs met.

At some point be clear that others have and need to take responsibility for themselves. We live in an age when acceptance of others as an ‘All or nothing’ attitude is viewed as some kind of spiritual revolution or an ill defined edition of ‘One Love’. No stop that Christian ‘turn the other cheek’ nonsense, do for another if they deserve it and do it cause you deserve it too, fall in love with being loving because you want to, not because you have to. Reframe loving action. Do it because you want to and not out of expectation or duty, as this is the breeding ground for contempt. As the saying goes: ‘no appointments, no disappointments’

‘One love’ is love of oneself, looking after oneself, loving oneself enough to have empathy for others, and filling one’s cup enough to give and support others in turn. The love we give to the world is equal to the love we give ourselves first. Here we find true empathy, where empathy is simply ‘My lifetime listens to your lifetime’, We meet here! I understand, I understand that my suffering creates unsuffering so I love myself beyond my suffering.

Keep away from people who are are one way to your face and different to you around others, watch that space. Be clear, set boundaries and do your best. Create enough ‘Head-space’to de-clutter your mind and listen to your own voice and needs. Negative energy is very draining and life force depleting. Surround yourself with loving energy, friends, projects and  beauty. Notice beauty and beauty will observe you back in turn.

Giving ourselves ‘heads pace means we get to build ourselves up, a spiritual’ Complan’ of sorts, the sustenance and building blocks of self confidence. Self confidence which is never thought at school, is simply the power of our own personality, which when nurtured and allowed gives a child ability. Ability, without the need to appease or please others around us, the unique voice that was encouraged to go out into the world.

To become a leader of love, we must lead from our heart’s knowing, leadership is lonely that is why it is for the brave and courageous soul, leadership is always about choosing yourself, a leader of the heart knows that the right action always takes directive from the hearts choice, does this choice bring me closer to my life’s purpose?