Here are 10 indicators of a true f*cking warrior:

1. He is putting in the effort. 

He shows you that he wants you but doesn’t need you. He will do the work—to get you and to keep you. If you find a man who is ready to roll up his sleeves and willing to go the distance, meet him halfway and match his effort.

Do not bend over backward for someone who isn’t doing the bare minimum. If they aren’t making an effort now, they sure as hell won’t make an effort later—when life gets even harder. I promise the guy who is not texting you back doesn’t have what it takes to hold your hand and cry with you when tragedy strikes. Let him go.

2. He’s consistent.

He shows the f*ck up for you—on good days, bad days, and all the days in between. For the purposes of your own sanity, please stay away from inconsistent men. You know the type—hot one minute and cold the next. The rollercoaster is toxicity, not chemistry, I promise.

It’s not hard to be consistent if you care. It literally takes two seconds to send a text. 

“Super busy today, but thinking of you!” 

See? Easy and thoughtful.

When my husband and I started dating, he would text me every day on his lunch break. Something simple and not over the top, but considerate. I wasn’t confused or wondering if and when I would hear from him. If we made plans, I knew he would follow through. This shouldn’t be complicated, but somehow it is in today’s world.

3. He communicates clearly.

I cannot stress this enough. If you’re dating someone who isn’t capable of open and honest communication, you’ve got a rocky road ahead. Direct communication is imperative. If you’re angry, disappointed, or hurt by something, you should be able to express that without fear. Your partner should also feel safe verbalizing how they are feeling and why.

My husband and I do not have a perfect relationship—no one does. Perfection doesn’t exist. In fact, we may argue more than other couples because we communicate so candidly. We don’t hold anything back and are not afraid to speak our minds. We don’t always agree, and that’s okay. Life would be boring if we all thought the same way about everything, wouldn’t it?

4. He has a good sense of humor.

Life is messy and chaotic at times. Everyone has bad moods and off days. Finding someone who can make you laugh is everything. A joke in the middle of an argument can take the wind out of your sails in the best way. (It’s even better if they think you’re funny too, then you really can laugh forever with someone you take seriously.)

5. He is secure in who he is.

If he is comfortable in his own skin, it will allow you to have that same freedom. It’s imperative to note the difference between confidence and arrogance. Someone who thinks they are better than other people have their own set of insecurities that need to be worked through. A warrior is humble enough to know they’re not better than anyone and isn’t constantly trying to impress others. A man who is content with himself doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone.

6. He has a healthy relationship with his mother.

I’m sure there could be many variations to this, but, in my experience, a man’s relationship with his mother will tell you everything you need to know. How he treats her is how he will treat you. If he has a good, respectful relationship with her, then you’re golden. If his mother babies him, he will expect the same from you. If his relationship with her is toxic, you should probably run (unless he has done a lot of inner work to heal from it).

7. He is kind.

A warrior exudes genuine kindness for others—especially children. Children are highly intuitive and typically drawn to good people. Watch how children respond to your potential partner; it will tell you a lot.

Notice how the person you’re dating treats the waitstaff or anyone in customer service. Does he treat them kindly and with respect? (Hint: the answer should always be yes.)

One night after a dinner out, we were walking back to his car, and my “boyfriend” disappeared. Then I saw him helping an old man across the street. Afterward, he came back to me and said, “Sorry, that guy was struggling.” He didn’t think anything of it, but it spoke volumes to me. He noticed someone who needed help, and he helped him without a second thought.

8. He respects nature and animals.

If he cares about the Earth and does his part to preserve it, you’ve found a good one.

Like young children, animals can sense the good in a person. Pay attention to the way your partner treats animals they encounter and how those animals respond. If strange dogs come up to them and they adoringly scratch them behind the ears, they’re probably a keeper.

My female cat isn’t typically trustful of men, but she’s grown so attached to my husband that I’m pretty sure she’s not my cat anymore.

9. He gives your life balance.

Think of the way puzzle pieces go together: two of the same would never fit. I think this is where a lot of people get it wrong. They think they should have everything in common with their partner, but that doesn’t work. The right person challenges you and helps you grow. A warrior isn’t only willing to fight for you, but also with you. Your partner should disagree with you sometimes—you’re not always right. It’s healthy if you have different views are able to find the middle ground. Balance creates harmony.

10. He sees you and believes in you.

The person you choose to spend your life with should encourage you to love yourself more. The right one knows that you are not perfect but loves your flaws. He will teach you things without being condescending and push you to be your best. Creating a safe environment for you to blossom into the person you were meant to be. If he helps you go after your dreams and is not intimated by the idea of your success, he’s a f*cking warrior.