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*Whether astrology is science or magic, we’re open to most things, if they may be of benefit. ~ Ed.

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I am a Cancer Sun and Cancer Ascendant.

My identity in this lifetime seems garnished with the nostalgia of the past, memories, and fixations on “lost times,” “lost loves,” and “lost chances.” The Cancer nature is strong in me.

It manifests as strong ties to home and family. Strong attachment to security and comfort. The need for safety and comfort in life and in relationships. The need to feel at home wherever I may be. The endless search for security in an increasingly insecure world.

It’s not an easy time to be a Cancer. Or, a human, at that. Cancers (as all signs do) have a shadow and a light side. The shadow side of Cancer is moody, fearful, distrusting, needy, possessive, insecure, overly sensitive or guarded, controlling, obsessive, wounded and victimized, selfish out of fear their needs won’t get met, the need for their emotions to matter most, exhausted, emotionally overwhelmed, manipulative. These are all qualities I, myself, can have. And have exhibited throughout the course of my own evolution.

I’d like to think I am evolving out of some of these shadow traits, though, and really how could we not always be evolving? And, yet, as we are light and dark, there is wholeness in owning both sides. The shadow side is never wrong, just the part of self in need of more integration.

The light side of Cancer is deeply compassionate, empathetic, intuitive, a safe haven for others, the trusted-beyond-a-doubt friend, the one everyone confides in, unconditionally loving toward others, wise, emotionally intelligent, deep and observant, loyal, the peacemaker. Cancers, in their evolved state, carry this ability within them of deep healing medicine, of deep love for the world, to remind us of the values of home and our roots, and how to deeply nurture the self and others. How to care for our loved ones. How to love each other better.

2020 has been a year of remembering what matters. Our families. Our homes. Our roots. What do we feel secure in when the world is crumbling down around us? What holds us steady? What roots us deeper into the self?

The shaking of our individual and collective foundations has been felt this year by all of us. We’ve been asked to grow deeper roots into ourselves. To feel more secure in insecurity. To return back to the home, back to the self who actually is the source of our need for safety and security.

Themes this year have revolved around home, family, foundation, and security. Very Cancer themes. We even started this year with a Cancer full moon, so it seems fitting we are ending this year as such, too.

The last full moon of 2020, on December 29, lands at 8 degrees of Cancer at 7:28 P.M. PST. This full moon will be highlighting how far we have come this year in healing old wounds of the past.

Cancer’s gift and curse are that the past is always this looming, teaching presence. The past has much to teach us, of course. And we must look to it to know how to do different, what we need to change, how we need to grow. The past can teach us many things. It can show us patterns and habits. It can show us where we have been too afraid to let go, to change, and to grow. It can also show us times when we have been brave and courageous. When we have overcome something. Succeeded in some areas and facets of life.

And, also, if we continuously stay stuck in what “once was” or who we “once were,” we will never truly be able to grow and be available for what is to come. We all have wounds. We all have unresolved hurts and traumas from our families, life, and past relationships. The trick is to see beyond the illusion of these things as having ties to our identity, or a say in what we deserve and are worthy of now.

This year, maybe more so than most, we have all felt a little (or a lot) more vulnerable. Vulnerable to sickness, to pain, to loss, to destruction. Cancer is the crab. The guarded, tougher exterior houses its more gooey, tender, vulnerable parts. We all have felt a little extra gooey this year. Oozing with emotions and sensitivities. Vulnerable is a state of being we’ve gotten all too familiar with. But, in that vulnerability, perhaps, we have found a strength, a resilience, a more real point of connection with others. Only in vulnerability can we really truly find the connection and belonging we are seeking anyhow.

Cancer is our ancestry. It is our lineages. All of us have ancestral trauma. Unhealed lineages of pain. Unhealed wounds of our families. Many of us have been gifted the opportunity (though not always seen as a gift, sometimes a burden) to be the one in our families to break these “curses,” these bondages of the past.

We all have been born into patterns, fear patterns at that. You know, the ones that make us feel constricted, restricted, limited, and downright conflicted. These patterns, in whatever shape they come in, may at one point, provided a sense of safety and security for us. But, now, and this last year even, the energy has changed. We no longer feel fulfilled by such patterns. We no longer feel the same comforting energy.

In fact, when these patterns have surfaced, we probably have felt like they no longer give us that same feeling they used to. It’s like an old shoe five sizes too small we keep trying to squeeze over our feet. It’s just not comfortable anymore. We are different. We have, in fact, evolved beyond the patterns. How amazing is that!?

And, yet, there is still a part of us that is fixated on us being the problem. That we can’t quite fully let go of the lingering remnants of these old, outdated modes of being and operating. There’s nothing wrong with us, though. We are still adjusting and adapting to this new energy. And, in due time, perhaps even with this full moon, we can more deeply purge and release these layers of self, no longer needed for the journey forward.

This full moon makes positive aspects to Chiron, the Wounded Healer, who is here to help us. To step into the healers we have always been. To trust the healing medicine within. To come home to the self full of the medicine, we need to heal and resolve any lingering wounds of the past.

Cancer is a feminine sign, ruled by the moon herself. Cancer is all things water. Emotions make up our inner waters. This full moon invites us to fully embrace any and all emotions that are surfacing. To see and know that whatever we are feeling, we are healing.

Cancer is a sign that’s able to bring comfort and be a soothing balm to any old hurts. That is, if we choose to no longer stay stuck in the nostalgia of bygones and should have, would have, could have’s. 

Because if we would have, we would. If we could have, we would. And, nothing can change what’s already been done. In fact, when we can lean into this deeper trust that actually what we have been through is exactly what we needed to go and grow through, then perhaps, we will feel more at peace with the things that didn’t turn out the way we had expected.

Because what truly matters is where we are now. What is right here for us? What is inviting us in and calling to us now to tend and befriend? Parts of self maybe we thought were cured. Old wounds that maybe just need a little more love and feeling of safety within to know that they don’t have to be the one leading us now. That we can move forward only as deeply as we let go. As we surrender. As we soften. As we unfurl into this moment. This present, waking moment.

The Cancer full moon is just the end we need to begin again. To know that no matter where we go next, our home will always be within. It’s a home that can never be taken away or compromised by external worldly chaos. This is the security we have been looking for.

Whatever comes our way, may we have deeper roots to truer self to hold us and less weight of deadened versions of ghost’s past. Our wounds can always call to us, but in answering the call, may we remember that we have the power and medicine within now to heal, not to hand over our power. We’ve actually always had that power; we just needed to remember it for ourselves.

May we let go of the past and step more deeply into the present, knowing that time is never a linear construct. We are past, present, and future. And, there is always more union to be had within these parts of self. A deeper invitation to come into the power of where we are, in motion, e-motion, energy in motion, and let all untruths fall away.

Let go. Let go. Let go. And, welcome yourself home to where you are now.

Another one on this last full moon of 2020:What Will The Last & 13th Full Moon of 2020 Mean for You? {December 29}