Divorce, job loss, death, illness and COVID – they are all the same.

They are events – how we respond to them dictate how we will go through them.

Masks are nothing more than the bargaining stage of grief… we don’t actually have proof that they work but we are going to believe they do.

Much like we don’t know if counselling will save a broken marriage – but many will say you won’t know if you don’t try.

Bear with me on this one?

In 1969, a Swiss-American psychiatrist named Elizabeth Kübler-Ross wrote in her book “On Death and Dying” that grief could be divided into five stages.

Not everyone will experience all five stages, and you may not go through them in order – but BARGAINING is one of the stages.

During grief, it is common to feel vulnerable and helpless. In those moments of intense emotions, it’s not uncommon to look for ways to regain control or to want to feel like you can affect the outcome of an event.

In the bargaining stage of grief, you may find yourself creating a lot of “what if” and “if only” statements.

It’s also not uncommon for religious individuals to try to make a deal or promise to God or a higher power in return for healing or relief from the grief and pain.

Bargaining is a line of defense against the emotions of grief. It helps you postpone the sadness, confusion, or hurt.

Examples of the bargaining stage:

– Breakup or divorce: “If only I had spent more time with her, she would have stayed.”

– Job loss: “If only I worked more weekends, they would have seen how valuable I am.”

– Death of a loved one: “If only I had called her that night, she wouldn’t be gone.”

– Terminal illness diagnosis: “If only we had gone to the doctor sooner, we could have stopped this.”

– COVID “If only everyone would wear a mask – then we would beat this virus and life will go back to the way it was.”

In bargaining, individuals are clinging to the threads of hope, however thin and worn the mask fabric may be.

Breakthrough treatments in medicine are seen as a source of a temporary suspension of the inevitable outcome.

If no bargain can be reached depression is the next stage..