Run Home
By: Ruben D. Escudero, Jr.
Ma. Cristina, Dapitan City, Philippines

Emotional upheaval deeply troubled me lately and the world, seemed superficially dull and blurry, clad with fading hues. Fear has just robbed the zest and vigour that once embosomed my heart and as I pause and reflect on the changing colors of the world beckoning before my eyes, I feel like I have been held a captive of a melancholic night.

Almost everything has changed, even the way I see and perceive life has changed a bit. In these dreary emotional times, I felt like my heart was cocooned with sadder vibes, emotions were so down almost sullen. And this warrior, who has been with so many battles is now wounded and hurt. Shouldn’t he be allowed to drop sword and run home?

Well, in truism, there is no safest haven and sanctuary where we always run to whenever we fall down other than our home with its warmth and comfort. This was the realization that dawned on me one morning as my thoughts and body wrestled with the tasks I was obligated to do as a secondary school teacher since classes have just resumed through modular set up. Then, I was thinking of taking a furlough or maybe take a few steps back to research soul and engage in an in-depth evaluation of myself since the frustrations, disappointments, and setbacks that have been thrown at me lately were almost impossible to bear. But I needed to stand still amidst these strong forces that tried to shatter me and I had to bounce back like a bamboo that sways and bends but never breaks. I soon realized, I did not need the hiatus. What I needed the most was the spark of hope deep within me to ignite the light I once shared to many. And it was in the eye of every child who deserved better if not best education where I saw the spark of hope that inspired and motivated me to touch hearts and hone minds. We wake up every day and head to our respective battlefields of life donned with the best armour a knight could ever have fighting for our lives to survive, sans an assurance in mind if we could still come back home safe and sound. After all, life itself is a battle that should be won.

True indeed, the colors of the world are gradually fading and changing day after day and the battle once fought and won by our heroes was no longer the kind of battle we have to win these days when our hearts and minds have been held hostage by our own fear. This is a completely different battle that does not require power, strength, and might but can be won with a hopeful heart and resilient spirit.

Now, we have been experiencing the horror brought about by this treacherous evil, COVID-19 pandemic which is a special phenomenon that has shaken and continues to haunt the very cradle of our civilization and has long doomed and devastated the socio-political landscape jeopardizing the multitude through claiming countless lives. This appears nefarious and way harsher than any other fortuitous events and force majeure we’ve experienced sometime before where its aftermath could stretch out even beyond the spectrum and could last as to the gravity of its impact. And there is no way for now to lure this evil away from its den. While it is always the responsibility of the government to provide its people food, medicine, clothes during a pandemic, the very first step to stay safe should always emanate from every one of us. And while there is surely no guarantee that the government can protect every Juan dela Cruz in these most trying times, there is a sure guarantee that everyone can protect himself or at least stay himself away from the harms and dangers should he equip himself with the knowledge and the right education following the precautionary measures to shield himself from danger and harm.

For the government, security and welfare of its people is always of paramount importance as parens patria. However, no matter how sincere and committed the government is in educating and preparing Juan dela Cruz for him to stay safe, his life will still be prejudiced and in jeopardy should he not open his heart and embrace the change the government is zealous enough to instil in him. The government is trying to make change for the better but we have already been enslaved by our naked ambition and greed and we have not yet freed and untangled ourselves from the mighty grip of this bondage, ergo, we find it difficult at start to follow the proper protocols imposed by the authorities. COVID-19 virus has already exemplified its wrath and we have already seen how harsh it could get and it will continue to devastate the civilization until someone we love will soon be gone should we not finally liberate the greed that thrives in our hearts and should we not open our eyes and cast a glimpse on the silver linings beckoning before our eyes that promise hope and change. This is seemingly an insurmountable battle to win but hope reigns supreme.

On the lighter side, we still see a flicker of hope amidst doom and gloom. Stories of patients who have successfully battled against COVID-19 and of how these patients strove to win have humbled, inspired us, lifted our spirits and brought our knees down to kneel, pray, and thank our Creator for giving these patients the courage and will to survive. For nothing could be sadder than seeing our friends grieve for the loss of their beloved who succumbed to COVID-19.

This present most pressing and trying situation is something that we should ponder, reflect on, and maybe one of the million reasons why we need to re-examine our lives perhaps and start to change ourselves for the better. If we deem our hearts had long been devoured diabolically by these evils that camouflaged as naked ambition and greed, then we might as well gradually start to detach and untangle ourselves from these and embody within us the most important values such as compassion, fairness, and equality. Only then, when we feel like we have shown compassion to our fellowmen more often and have observed fairness and equality in everything we do or decide, we could claim a life worth living and sharing for. Again and again, may this drive us to change our perspectives in life for the better. Remember, we all create a composite imprint through the brush strokes we tint on the canvas of life. Every single and simple but sincere act of kindness that springs from our hearts makes a divine masterpiece. Our status or position in life does not define who we are yet, the accumulation of all our deeds, great or small, would make up an exquisitely bizarre yet beautiful piece of art.

I know and I feel we all have long fought and have been fighting against our own personal battle. Whatever it was and it is, may it be emotional or psychological, never forget that you are not alone and you don’t need to face it all by yourself. This world is filled with incredibly kind-hearted people you could always count on. If you find the load in your heart heavy and unbearable enough, cry if you must but always find that spark of courage that hides in the innermost chamber of your heart for you to forge on. Always remember that God’s love works so inexplicably and mysteriously and tomorrow we wake up enjoying the wonders of His creations.

May the courage in our hearts cast a flicker of light and emblazon our hope so we all continue to withstand brave and strong and remain resilient against this pandemic that wreaks havoc and deterioration.

I have long found solace with the greatness of our Creator’s unfathomable mercy and love and I am beyond thankful that I now stand on mountains after paddling from the stormy seas. If and only if, along the way, our hearts are still embosomed with melancholic hues and the war ahead of us seems more ferocious than we thought it was, then we better run home.