We are halfway through this month, which means surprise we have survived 2021 so far! While we have already been challenged as a nation so far, it’s the inner workings of ourselves that matter most. This month so far for me has been many revelations, things are falling into place slowly. It’s not to say that my life is perfect, because it’s not and I’m okay with that. I have however finally received a diagnosis after many visits to the Emergency Room, which resulted in tears and frustration. What changed this time, was that I advocated for myself a lot more, I am not the type to seek meds for problems I believe can be solved. Covid unfortunately has put a strain on health care, so that it’s been difficult to get an appointment in a timely fashion. I haven’t and won’t give up on that aspect, it’s just a waiting game now.

That waiting game has lead me to review a lot about myself personally. What was I doing wrong, that could possibly be causing this agonizing pain? Well keeping a diary and slowly weeding out everything that I’ve been eating for years, helped me turn that corner. I know now exactly what my food triggers and how to address them. I’m listening to my body more, and what nourishes it and it what may be poison to me. I don’t think I could continue to go on in pain like I’ve been. My diagnosis you might be wondering, is H Pylori. That is a parasite and bacteria which lives in your body, and causes destruction untreated. I am currently on 3 medications, to help to treat the symptoms, while I wait for the above mentioned appointment. I would say the sleepless nights and hrs of vomiting have the most trying times of my life . I’ve also seen my body go through a metamorphosis, it’s gotten smaller, whether by my dieting or being sick.

I looked at myself in the mirror the other day before I got dressed, and I was like in shock. You don’t notice things that change about you, until you face them head on right? Looking at the exhausted reflection, was sad for me, I’ve struggled lately with things no one knows. To drag myself out of bed everyday and take medication to function, when there wasn’t an ounce of energy in this body. I was taught to be a fighter, I’ve been through this once before, and it took me months to get better, I expect the exact same result. Between the tears, I’ve learned how strong I am, what I’m capable of, I can push myself to do things that maybe I shouldn’t be, but that’s my nature. I believe in putting others before myself, even when it backfires on me. Sometimes I have to remember, the reason why I resent certain things, is because of how I react to them. There is always a different road to take, life isn’t a high wire act.

As I prepare myself for what could be the most successful year of my life, I have to remember how this all began. It was the pandemic that made this happen, it continued because I was able to bridge the gap, and it’s grown in ways I never dreamed of. My audience, you is what inspires me to bring out the best of me. I would say that sometimes getting stuck in my own thoughts, is what creates lack of consistency. My podcast for instance I try to tap those on weekends, if I work it doesn’t fit my schedule and I fall behind, that’s I’m trying to change. Here, is like a blank canvas and when I write, I feel so alive, it’s a feeling I can’t describe. As I type and all of the electrical current runs through me, I just smile and keep going. Like Ace says always be free with your thoughts, people do relate to them, I think that’s what truly inspires me to keep going. Every single post on here has represented me and my growth as a person in the last year. I never thought something that was considered a diary, could make impact that is has. I want to thank you for all that you do, with the comments, the feedback and for coming back to Taaury37 every time I post. I promise I will always do you proud, I won’t ever forget who I am, and what built this: passion, my audience and my love of storytelling.

Take Care,

Taaury37