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We talk about self-love all the time.

How we’re doing it, why we’re doing it, and its importance in our romantic relationships. But we rarely talk about our partner’s self-love and why their personal journey matters as well.

Working on our own inner journey alone is not enough to maintain a healthy and mature relationship. The way we love ourselves is almost always reflected in our relationship, but it’s not sufficient to heal the other person as well.

Though we’re together, each one of us must embark on our own healing journey and help the other along the way.

Helping doesn’t mean fixing, though. It means we carry the torch and light the way for our partner. It means shedding light on things that our partner might not discern, without losing ourselves in the process.

When both partners encourage each other to become the best version of themselves, their relationship grows. Then they become beacons for each other—when one falls, the other helps them get up again.

Consequently, partnerships become more than just passion, sex, and romance. They become an essential part in healing, becoming, and transforming.

Here’s how we can help our partner do the work inside:

1. Encourage them to keep doing the stuff they love. It’s easy to fall into a routine or spend too much time together when we’re in a relationship. It’s valuable to remind each other about our hobbies, talents, or interests when we forget to practice them.
2. Give them space. If you’re physically distant from them, try not to reach out for a few hours. If you’re sharing the same space, move to the other room or go out to the garden for a walk. Space is crucial because it helps them become friends with their own minds.
3. Let them hang out alone with the people they feel comfortable with. Friends and family play a big role in the inner work we do—let your partner have their own time with them.
4. Share your own self-love journey with them. You never know which part of your own experiences could inspire your partner.
5. Make them feel appreciated, heard, and worthy. Be open to the thoughts and experiences your partner might share with you. Try to be of service instead of judgmental.
6. Instead of judging them, do this. In case of an argument, try not to judge—instead, shed light on the trauma or underlying issue that could have pushed them to behave or speak the way they did.
7. Give them compliments. What do you like or respect about them? Share the way you see them because it significantly affects how they see themselves.
8. Let them make their own choices. The biggest part of our self-love journey is experimenting with our own decisions and putting them into practice. Allow your partner to do that from time to time without any interference from your part.
9. Help them accept themselves. Learning to unconditionally love ourselves can be tough sometimes. So it’s important to be forgiving when our partner makes a mistake. This helps them feel less guilty, more accepting of their own selves, and more inclined to learn from the mistake and grow.
10. Help them communicate. When we learn to express our needs, desires, and how we feel, we learn more about ourselves. So it’s imperative to help our partner become vulnerable and create a safe space for them to express themselves.
11. Show up for them. Be present; be supportive; be patient; be you.
12. Love them. At the core of everything you say or do, let love and kindness shine.