Valentine’s day, supposedly a time of sharing love gifts with your beloved or the opportunity to declare one’s interest to another. When one doesn’t have a love interest, or a betrothed, it can certainly play havoc on our self esteem, or is there another way of looking into this dilemma?

Since feelings are felt within ourselves, from our interpretation of situations, how could this day feel if you fell in love with yourself?  If you offered yourself the day to love yourself and not externally on another.

“Wait!!” I hear you say.  “It feels good to love another, to give gifts, attention, affection, words of affection etc, and the receiver of the same.”  I’m not disputing this, what I am suggesting is, let’s focus on ourselves for a bit, especially if we are not in a relationship, or friendship with another.

Self love, self care, self appreciation and all the other self is expansive. It supports our sense of wellbeing and Quality of Life and takes the pressure off others to give in expected ways. Love ourselves, and we are always loved.  Love ourselves, and we can help others learn how to love us in ways that really do mean something to us.  (but be open to learning how they share their love too)

When we love ourselves, the world seems brighter, we are lighter in mood, and mind.  We are receptive to seeing, hearing and interacting in lighter, more loving, compassionate ways.  Life and situations just feel different.

Consider this.  Unmet expectations is the seat of disappointment, frustration and pain so if we take the time and effort to love ourselves, then when others do not, or can not give in an expected way we still have a full enough cup filled to give allowance for their challenges and inability to meet our expectations.   Being able to love and look after our own needs enables us to move on if or when the time is right, because we know we will be ok.

Self love includes healthy boundaries.  Frequent neglect, abuse, avoidance, not looking at their own needs and incompatibility really do take a toll on friendships. What would you suggest your best friend do in situations where you can clearly see things are not right?  Love yourself, and heal the parts of your past that are keeping you trapped and stuck in unhealthy situations.  Stand into your self loving power so you can step up and away from unloving, unhealthy situations that are keeping you trapped, small and in regular doses of pain.

I encourage you from this Valentine’s day to declare, “I will from this day on, learn how to heal my past so I can love myself completely, unconditionally and create even more loving, honouring relationships and experiences in my life.”   Give yourself permission to learn, ask for support during the challenges of growing your self love, to become strong in yourself so you do Create Your Life on Your TERMS!

looking for self love and self care ideas.  I have a list of 200+ ideas for you back at my website: https://www.stepstochange.com.au/freeresourcesdl/self-care-is-essential-not-an-option