I love my husband. 

And, truly, I’m not some Grinch-green romance hater. 

But, full disclosure: my hubby is not my Valentine.

A chubby, naked baby with wings will not be fluttering about in my tiny, messy apartment. 

That fuzzy, mass-produced, placed-in-random-locations-until-it’s-considered-civilized-to-throw-away teddy bear can stay at the grocery store. 

Again, I love love. I’m not against that! But we all know Valentine’s Day is for big corporations to ingest money from the Joe-Shmoes who aren’t true companions the rest of the year…or trying to “get it in.” 

Can it be sweet and thoughtful? Of course! I’ve done more than a few heart-shaped crafts and chocolatey baking projects for this holiday over the years. But, you know, I’m “older and wiser” now. I’m also busy! 

You know what says, “I love you?”

Cooking dinner for the person you love when they’re working late.

Chocolate covered strawberries…just because!

Trying to go on a date during quarantine, having your truck break down, Ubering to a liquor store (because, life), and then walking home—laughing all the way—thinking about the wonderful, messy, imperfect disaster that is your life together.

Foot massages for a weepy, hormonal wife (on any given day).

Listening to the same stories you’ve already heard because you know they love telling them.

Morning sex and morning breath.

Sharing the last bite of leftovers. 

Letting them be the little spoon (even when you prefer being the little spoon).

You see, my husband is not my Valentine because he is my partner. He is my rock—my warrior—all throughout the year. 

We’re too busy life-ing and loving each other through it all to waste money on false gestures and imposed “special days.” 

Every day won’t feel like a romantic holiday (I sure as hell can attest to that), but the people who love us will be there after all the rose petals wither away. 

I’m all for the lovey-dovey stuff, but let’s make it important all year (not just when the chocolatiers say so)!